All the MLB posts:

Yankees’ Michael Pineda Ejected For Being A Goddamn Idiot

Published by tgim on April 23rd, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

The last time Michael Pineda pitched against the Boston Red Sox, it looked as though either he was shoving his palm up Ichiro Suzuki’s asshole or caking his palm with pine tar. Everyone except Pineda made the logical conclusion that it was indeed pine tar. So, you would think the next time he faced the Sox he would be just a tad more discreet about it. But again, it seems as though everyone except Michael Pineda would make that logical conclusion. (more…)

Remember When Matt Kemp Didn’t Suck?

Published by rhombus on April 22nd, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

Matt Kemp is having another dog shit night at the plate against A.J. Burnett and the Phillies, one that has seen the Dodgers center fielder strike out for the 18th time in just 15 games and his batting average fall below the Medoza Line. And that got us thinking, “Wasn’t Matt Kemp supposed to be good?” (more…)

Sunday Night Funnies

Published by tgim on April 20th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Our new DUD series Sunday Night Funnies debuts with five short shots at some of the haps of a wild sports weekend, and it’s awesome, brah. We’ll even go as far to say it’ll be funnier than Schindler’s List, and that’s a fucking guarantee… (more…)

A Backup Catcher Is Apparently The Real Life Roy Hobbs

Published by tgim on April 18th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Unless you live in the Milwaukee or Pittsburgh metropolitan areas, odds are you weren’t tuned into the Brewers-Pirates game because you were busy doing anything else. But in the sixth inning of their 5-3 win, Brewers backup catcher Martin Maldonado reached first base after literally knocking the cover off the ball. (more…)

The Arizona Diamondbacks Are Fucking Terrible

Published by tgim on April 17th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, they’re just 1/9 of the way into their season, but at 4-14, the Arizona Diamondbacks are off to their worst start in franchise history, and that’s saying something since their squad in 2004 was so pig shit awful that they lost 111 games. (more…)

Check Out The $203 Million New York Yankees Lineup

Published by tgim on April 13th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Only the Los Angeles Dodgers have made more of an effort to buy a World Series championship than the New York Yankees this year. According to the Associated Press, Dodgers players will pull down $235 million this year, which makes New York’s $203 million payroll seem smaller than Nicole Richie’s tits. But given the fact that the Yanks are dropping over $200 million on their roster, you would expect a lineup full of All-Stars and future Hall of Famers every time out, right? (more…)