Category Archives: MLB

Here’s Pete Rose Betting On The Ponies At Mandalay Bay In The Middle Of The Day

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by Tommy Gimler

In his defense, that 4-6-1 trifecta box was a fucking lock!

Matt Garza Is Quite The Sack Of Fuck This Year

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by Tommy Gimler

At this point, the Milwaukee Brewers are better off sending out a bag of cow shit to the mound. I mean, at least it won’t groove an 86-MPH “fastball” down the middle for an opponent to hit 450 feet over the wall.

Dallas Keuchel Tells Mike Fiers He’s ‘Gonna Get Some Pussy Tonight’ After He Throws A No-Hitter

mike fiers no hitter

by Tommy Gimler

For starters, if Mike Fiers – the same Mike Fiers who for the most part sucked major donkey dick when he donned a Brewers uniform – throws a no-hitter, then throwing a no-hitter in the big leagues is no longer relevant.

Getting Cancer Is Apparently The Best Way To Fire Up Your Team

john farrell

by Frank Rhombus

On the surface, that title makes me look like a bigger asshole than Shia LaBeouf. But seriously, just a little research and remembrance will easily prove my point and make you feel like an asshole for judging me.

Some Fat Fuck Nationals Fan With An Arm In A Sling And A Walking Cane Robbed A Bank

fat nationals fan robs bank

by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the Nationals’ shitty play is making their fans do crazy things these days like rob banks. Well, by the looks of things, it could have been a lack of Hungry Man meals in this fat fuck’s freezer and a lack of funds to pay for them that drove him to bank robbery, but our point should be clear: The Washington Nationals are fucking garbage.

The Washington Nationals Are A Goddamn Embarrassment

harper ejected

by Tommy Gimler

When you have the National League’s best hitter and second-best starting pitcher surrounded by a flurry of young talent and seasoned veterans yet find yourself 1.5 games behind the New York Mets in what is easily baseball’s worst division, then it’s official: You are a bigger disaster than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face.

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