All the MLB posts:

The Arizona Diamondbacks Are Fucking Terrible

Published by tgim on April 17th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, they’re just 1/9 of the way into their season, but at 4-14, the Arizona Diamondbacks are off to their worst start in franchise history, and that’s saying something since their squad in 2004 was so pig shit awful that they lost 111 games. (more…)

Check Out The $203 Million New York Yankees Lineup

Published by tgim on April 13th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Only the Los Angeles Dodgers have made more of an effort to buy a World Series championship than the New York Yankees this year. According to the Associated Press, Dodgers players will pull down $235 million this year, which makes New York’s $203 million payroll seem smaller than Nicole Richie’s tits. But given the fact that the Yanks are dropping over $200 million on their roster, you would expect a lineup full of All-Stars and future Hall of Famers every time out, right? (more…)

The Best Team in Baseball Is…Wait, The Brewers?

Published by rhombus on April 12th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

If you would have told me two weeks ago that the Brewers would be the owners of baseball’s best record at 9-2 on April 12th after winning eight games in a row, I would have said you’re fucking high, dad. But that’s exactly what has happened in Milwaukee thanks to an offensive attack almost as fearful as the thought of Rosie O’Donnell on bath salts and a tits pitching staff that boasts the best ERA in baseball. (more…)

Either Derek Jeter Took A Shit In Michael Pineda’s Hand Or That’s Pine Tar

Published by tgim on April 10th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

The New York Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox tonight 4-1 behind six strong innings from Michael Pineda. The Yanks’ right-hander gave up just four hits and one earned run while striking out seven. But it wasn’t his quality start that had NESN’s Jerry Remy’s panties in a bind. (more…)

On The 40th Anniversary Of His 715th Home Run, Hank Aaron Decided To Compare President Obama’s Republican Critics To The KKK

Published by rhombus on April 9th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

The Atlanta Braves are no strangers to freedom of expression. I mean, they throw it in our faces everyday by winning games despite filling their roster with turds like B.J. Upton, Justin Upton, and Dan Uggla. But they really took it to another level during their home opener against the New York Mets last night. (more…)

Apparently Adam Jones Doesn’t Care For Fans Who Run On The Field

Published by tgim on April 8th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Two Yankees fans ran onto the field during the eighth inning of New York’s 14-5 ass pounding administered by the Baltimore Orioles today, and O’s center fielder Adam Jones apparently wasn’t too fond of their actions. (more…)