The Daily Upper Decker is where the worlds of stand-up comedy and sports scissor each other like two Russian immigrants looking to make a quick ten bucks. It’s supposed to be an entertaining and informative sports blog conceived by Tommy Gimler in February 2012 with these simple guidelines:
1) With zero “sources” in the professional sports world, The Daily Upper Decker will never create news stories. Our staff of stand-up comics will write opinionated articles on the sports and teams they are passionate about and on the teams they hate. The Daily Upper Decker will also feature many sports betting segments and fantasy sports news for dorks.
B) Nobody at The Daily Upper Decker likes soccer, so click here for the latest soccer news and scores.
3) There will be random pictures of beautiful women posted to make the reader’s experience more enjoyable.
Tommy is a comedian, emcee, and sports junkie living in Los Angeles. Born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Tommy bleeds Brewers/Packers/Badgers, but unlike many fans back home, he refrains from hitting his significant other when they lose. Expect very little from Tommy when it comes to the NBA because he dislikes fixed sports. Tommy has not been to a Dodgers game since 2010 because he does not own a bulletproof vest. He also thinks that Pau Gasol would win the award for “Worst Hygiene By A Male Athlete.”
Andy Ostroff is a comedian who can talk about sports for hours, yet he refuses to play fantasy football because it “takes up too much of his time.” However, the last time he participated, he won $300. Andy enjoys hearing about and sharing his opinions on which athletes recently got arrested while secretly hoping that it never happens to him because he is way too delicate to survive in prison.
Barry is a Chicago transplant living in the mysteriously friendly little town of Playa Del Rey, California. Although he moonlights as a television editor, most of his time is spent puddle-jumping between gambling websites, checking trends like: record off an upset loss as a favorite, record when the total is between 171 and 179.5, and of course, record when playing in a renovated dome that does not have beer vendors in the isles. Barry goes Cubs, Bears, Bulls… followed by the Hawk, and surprisingly, a little White Sox talk. If you need Chicago Fire or Chicago Sky (do they still have a team?) info, sorry, I can’t help you. Also, trivia requests will be welcomed.
Frank Rhombus grew up in a shithole most people call Nebraska before moving to San Francisco to satisfy his fetish of watching people take shits in the street. He’ll write about anything related to football and baseball, but he’d rather jam a screwdriver up his peehole than write a story on the NBA. It’s a fixed fucking league, people.
Rakesh the Intern
Check it out, bro. This silly game of American football is really good way to make Rupee, my friend. And since boss don’t pay me shit for work here, I need to win on fairly regular basis, bro. Almost as often as my ex-girlfriend Akansh gets hump from local man in Howrah. You guessed it, bro: She is the biggest slut in Howrah. Even Cousin Gokul got a piece of that shit, and he was born with baby left arm. Sad shit, bro.