3 Reasons Why Mel Kiper Should NOT Win The HOF Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award

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by Tommy Gimler

And neither should Adam Schefter.

The four-letter’s NFL insider and major tool Adam Schefter recently took to Twitter to ask 192 million assholes why his colleague Mel Kiper Jr. has yet to win the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award. No seriously, he apparently doesn’t know why:

Welp, chalk this one up as one of the easiest posts of all time. Here are three reasons why Kiper and his bulletproof dome shouldn’t win any award outside of the sports broadcasting equivalent to a Razzie or one for broadcasters who most look like an extra from GoodFellas. 

3. He reports on college kids. Look, it took me more than four years to graduate from an institution of higher learning in Wisconsin, but even I understand the difference between professional and amateur. Does he broadcast from the actual NFL Draft? Sure, but if that’s what Schefter is basing his “hot take” on, well, let’s dive into reason number five…

2. When it comes to the NFL Draft, he doesn’t know what the fuck he is talking about. One of the greatest sports days of the year happens every time the clock starts in the first round of the NFL Draft. Why? Because we get to see Kiper crash and burn while ESPN executives shake their heads as they look at their payroll books and ask the all-important question, “What in the hell are we paying this guy to do here?” This year, Kiper only got…wait for it…SIX of 32 picks correct.

Think about that. 6 out of fucking 32.

Mickey Mouse pays this clown six figures every year to focus on one thing: college “talent” and where they will end up at the next level, and he can’t do it. It would be like paying Tim Kurkjian to talk about baseball, and when they cut to him in the stands on Sunday Night Baseball to talk about Freddie Freeman, he instead gives you Fortnite tips…

1. He has fraudulently used his position at ESPN to sell his agent friends’ shitty talent to us in hopes they get drafted higher and receive a bigger payday.

There are dozens of examples of this over the years, but the one name that will definitely ring your bell is Jimmy Clausen. Remember this exchange from the 2010 NFL Draft?

Kiper: “If Jimmy Clausen is not a successful quarterback in the NFL, I’m done. That’s it. I’m out.”

Replied Todd McShay: “What is your time frame, Mel? When do we make that assessment?”

Kiper: “I want eight years.”

McShay: “It will only take three years, Mel. We can tell inside three years.”

Kiper: “I want eight.”

I mean, not only did this sick fuck lie to us and not retire, but it turns out the reason why he was so high on Clausen was because he was trying to help his agent pal Gary Wichard get more bang for his buck with Clausen. You can read about that story here.

Bottom line is that Mel Kiper Jr. is probably the furthest thing from being a Pro Football Hall of Fame Award winner. Unless, of course, they’re going to name one of their restrooms after him… 

Wait, there’s more: Mel Kiper Sucks At His Job: 2021 Edition

You have got to see this shit:

 

 

 

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