Josh Gordon Is Trending On Twitter After It’s Announced New NFL CBA Would Not Suspend Players For Any Substance Abuse

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by Tommy Gimler

Any substance? I mean, can you imagine trying to catch Tyreek Hill after he snorts two lines of booger sugar?

According to Mike Florio at ProFootballTalk, there is a tidbit in the proposed CBA that is pretty goddamn juicy. Naturally, that tidbit has to do with weeeeeed, brah. Actually, it involves all drug use:

The 2020 substance-abuse policy, a link to which has been distributed to all players eligible to vote via email from NFLPA general counsel Tom DePaso, removes all suspensions for positive tests. Instead, players will be subject to fines only for a positive drug test.

Players in stage one of the program who test positive face no penalty at all, other than being advanced to stage two. In stage two, positive tests result only in fines.

For the first violation, the player loses one half of a game check. For the second violation, he loses a week’s pay. For the third violation, it’s two weeks’ salary. For the fourth and all subsequent violations, it’s a three-game fine. While that can get expensive, the player will still be allowed to play.

No word yet if they’re dubbing this the “Lawrence Taylor Clause,” but since it doesn’t include legalizing the plowing of underage hookers, our guess is that they’ll refrain from doing that. Of course, it would be perfect to name this after current free agent wide receiver Josh Gordon, who by our count has been suspended roughly four thousand times for weed and beer.

In fact, it’s not the NFL or CBA that’s currently trending on the Twitter thing the kids are using these days. Who is? You guessed it – Josh Fucking Gordon. Let’s take a peek:

I mean (cough, cough), that’s some good shit right there…

Wait, there’s more: Shaq Loses Bet To Dwayne Wade And Is Forced To Show The World His Hairline

You have got to see this shit:

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