NFL Playoffs And College National Championship Game Are Perfect Way To Crush Bookie, Bro


by Rakesh the Intern

Time to bet on the heads of cheese, bro!

Look, bro. Odds are you already lost some of child’s college fund on Ravens game last night, but let’s be positive, my friend. Odds are your kid isn’t going to amount to anything anyway, bro. But let’s take whatever Rupee is left and turn it back into something that might get kid into somewhere other than University of Phoenix just in case.

Here is what I am thinking for today and tomorrow, bro:


Houston (+10) at Kansas City and OVER 51 Points

Check it out, bro. If you are into shootouts, visit Toledo at about 1am on Saturday morning. Be sure to find good hiding spot, bro. But on the football field, this one is going to be almost as crazy as Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro. This pussy Will Fuller is supposed to be all systems go in this one, and there is no doubt that Texans are different team with him on field. Meanwhile, we all know what Chiefs and this Mahomes and thug Hill can do. Over is sure fire winner in this one, but feel free to tickle it with Texans to make bookie your bitch, bro…

Seattle at Green Bay (-4) and OVER 45 Points

I’m telling you, bro. All of these dipshit early public bettors hammered under harder than college freshman on poon in hooker house because weather report called for fuck ton of snow. Well, that is not the case, bro. Look for over to hit by third quarter, and as long as this Packers defense doesn’t let this DK Metcalf beast run free, it should be fuck time in Wisconsin. Load up on the Packers in this one, but feel free to tickle the over to make bookie your bitch, bro…


Clemson (+5.5) vs. LSU OVER 68.5 Points

Listen, bro. When thugs in Vegas start out with point total of 70 in national championship, well, let’s just say something smell fishier than my ex-girlfriend Akansh’s poon, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, my friend. If this was just going to be normal game and thugs wanted action on both over and under, a point total of 60 or 61 would have done the trick. But shit from pig betting public already bet this one down to 68.5, and you should be able to get it at even better number before game on Monday. Best of luck, bro…

Wait, there’s more, bro: Dude Unhappy With Pitch Thrown Behind Him Starts Hitting Catcher With His Bat

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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