Last Chance Before New Year To Crush Bookie With These College Football And NFL Week 17 Picks, Bro


by Rakesh the Intern

And last chance to eat like shit from pig before new year weight-loss challenge, bro.

That’s right, bro. Rakesh is planning trimming of pubes and massive weight loss in 2020. But until then, all time will be focused on making bookie our bitch for one last time this year, bro. Here is what I am thinking for this weekend, bro…


Oklahoma vs. LSU OVER 75 Points

Listen, bro. There is reason why this point total is higher than Snoop Dogg hitting J on top of Mount Everest, my friend. This pig shit awful Oklahoma defense couldn’t stop mediocre Kansas State team, and now we are supposed to believe that they can shut down top team in country? Eat shit, bro. Look for somewhere around 100 point to be scored in this one, and truth is you might be so close to over hitting by halftime that you can already order up hooker, bro…

Clemson vs. Ohio State (+2.5)

Check it out, bro. This Ohio State team looks like best team that has suit up in Columbus in last 20 years, and they are getting about as much love as Cousin Gokul gets from the girlies. They don’t like his baby left arm and inability to play billiards. Sad shit, bro. Meanwhile, who did this Clemson team play this year, bro? Fucking nobody, my friend. ACC football is weaker than Gokul’s bum arm. Should be one hell of game, but I like Buckeyes in this one, bro…

Mississippi State (-4) vs. Louisville

Let me tell you something, bro. This one smells fishier than ex-girlfriend Akansh’s poon, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Even Grandpa Sahir got piece of that poon. This Mississippi State team is rolling with different quarterback, and yet the spread went up, my friend. Red flag, bro! The thugs in Vegas know something in this one, so we’re going to roll with them and hope for refs to be in on fix. Load and lock up on the Bulldogs in this one, bro…


Cleveland at Cincinnati OVER 43 Points

Check it out, bro. This one is going to be classic game between shit from pig teams where they light up scoreboard and give dwindling fanbases hope for next season. Watch this Baker Mayfield fuck throw for three or four touchdowns and be happy for first time all season. Majority of public is riding the under in this one, but don’t get on that train. Remember, betting public is dumber than box of shit, so go against them here and root for point, bro…

Pittsburgh at Baltimore (+2)

I’m telling you, bro. This one is simpler than Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. Likes to eat poop, bro. It won’t matter that most of starting players will be out for this one for Ravens because their backups are all better than Pittsburgh’s starters. Taking Steelers in this one and expecting different result from previous three week would make you more fucked up than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro…

San Francisco at Seattle (+3.5)

Look, bro. There are some players who are bigger than game, and one of them is this Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch. He is motherfucker bad or whatever you say in this country. Having him on roster for this one should put extra juice in pecker of Seattle players and propel them to victory or cover at worst. Look for defense to be hitting harder than college freshman in hooker house too, bro…

2019 so far, bro: 45-41

Last time: 6-5

NCAA: 27-20

NFL: 18-21

Wait, there is more, bro: The Day My Uncle Bob Punched Santa Claus

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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