Larry Johnson Thinks Dwayne Wade Is A Freemason Sacrificing His Kid To Some Demons

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by Tommy Gimler

You might remember Larry Johnson as the stud Penn State running back who had three good seasons with the Kansas City Chiefs that probably either crushed your fantasy dreams or led you to a fake title.

Well, nowadays he appears to be a real cocksucker, one who believes Dwayne Wade is a Freemason who is spending his retirement years…wait for it…sacrificing his gay son to the devil.

No, seriously. It all started with this harmless post from Dwayne’s smokeshow wife Gabrielle Union-Wade’s Instagram account wishing all of her followers a Happy Thanksgiving:

Apparently a picture of a happy family during the holidays doesn’t fly with Johnson, who went out of his way to say Wade is simply biding his time before sacrificing his son to the devil himself.  

Johnson was met with quite a few “Hey, quit being a shitdick” responses, but perhaps none of them were better than this one:

Kids, if you see Johnson this holiday season, maybe give him a stamp collecting starter’s kit, some marbles or a fuck doll. Anything, really, that will make him too busy to spends five hours a night watching YouTube videos on the Illuminati and lizards running our flat earth…

Wait, there’s more: It Turns Out Snow Is NOT The Perfect Texture For Running

You have got to see this shit:

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