It Turns Out Snow Is NOT The Perfect Texture For Running

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by Tommy Gimler

“It’s the perfect texture for running. Very low impact.”

Well, in the words of the great Bill Lumbergh, “Oooh, yeah. Um, I’m going to have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there.” And it’s pretty much because of this:

Well, if her running partner’s plan for Christmas Eve was nothing but butt sex, he’s going to have to come up with something else. The good news is that he’s got plenty of time to come up with another orifice or something totally different that’s just as romantic…

Wait, there’s more: This White Sox Pitcher Is Spending His Offseason Punching Dudes At Cockfights

You have got to see this shit:

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