Let’s Continue To Crush Bookie With These College Football And Week 9 NFL Picks, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

How does 17-7 over the last four week feel on your taint, bro?

If you have been riding the Rakesh train the last month or so, congrats on your new house and two new wives, bro. Here is what I am thinking for this weekend to continue making bookie our bitch:

NCAA

Pittsburgh at Georgia Tech OVER 43.5 Points

Check it out, bro. This Georgia Tech team is shit from pig, but crazy thing is that they have put up decent amount of point lately. Plus, there was one thing that I remember Uncle Omkar telling me before he was rushed away to Howrah prison for fixing local cricket match. He say that betting public is dumber than cardboard box filled with goat shit, so if 95 percent of betting public is taking under in this one, then I say load up on over and call over hooker early when it hits by third quarter, bro…

UTEP at North Texas UNDER 60.5 Points

Listen, bro. The over has hit in four straight North Texas game, but sooner or later, opposite is going to happen. It remind me of Cousin Anagi in college. She would let something like 13 freshmen inside her at one time and they would just jackhammer away on her, my friend. Sick shit, bro. And she would keep doing this as if nothing bad was going to happen. Well, a little later that semester, her poon broke. Plus, betting public, who we have established as dumb as shit, well, 98 percent have over in this one. Don’t be dipshit and go along with them. Load and lock up on under in this one, bro…

Northwestern at Indiana (-10)

I’m telling you, bro. This one is easier than my ex-girlie Akansh, and she was biggest slut in Howrah. Even Grandpa Sahir got piece of that poon. This one simply comes down to Northwestern being pure goat shit, bro. Load and lock up on Hoosiers in this one, bro…

NFL

Houston at Jacksonville OVER 46.5 Points

Let me tell you something, bro. This Gardner Minshew can fuck my sister Adhira. Or maybe just mustache ride first time around, bro. Without this J.J. Watt on other side of ball, Houston defense will be even bigger pile of goat shit than they were with him. On the flip side, name one player on this Jacksonville defense. You can’t because they too suck balls of tiger, bro. Points in front of these British fuckshows should be plentiful, bro…

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh (+1)

Check it out, bro. Why is this spread only -1 for the far superior Colts? Well, cue the fishy poon smell of Akansh. Public is riding the Colts harder than that slut, and Rakesh think this is game where fix is in. Load and lock up on Steelers, bro…

Tampa Bay at Seattle (-5)

Listen, bro. This one is almost as simple as Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. Playing with stick in backyard gives this guy boner, bro. Anyway, public is also betting Tampa Bay in this one for some reason. But this one is simple. Tampa Bay is pure goat shit and Seattle is not. Load and lock up on Seachickens or hawks or whatever in this one, bro…

2019 so far, bro: 29-22

Last week: 3-3

NCAA: 17-10

NFL: 12-12

Wait, there’s more, bro: Probably The Worst Halftime Speech Ever

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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