Has Anybody Ever Done Something Like Myles Garrett In The Other Major Sports?

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by Tommy Gimler

In case you missed it last night, Myles Garrett of the Cleveland Browns went full retard.

With less than 10 seconds to go in the Browns’ 21-7 victory over the rival Steelers, Garrett ripped off Mason Rudolph’s helmet and then used it as a weapon.

Naturally, that got us thinking, “What a dipshit!” But it also had us wondering if anything like that had ever happened in any of the other major American sports, and yup, you’re goddamn right it has. Let’s take a peek.


At one time, Delmon Young wasn’t just a dude with 84 percent body fat trying to hang on to a roster spot in the bigs. In fact, he was the number one overall pick of the Tampa Bay Rays in the 2003 MLB Amateur Draft. Three years later, he was playing for the Durham Bulls, and while it’s unknown if he called the umpire a cocksucker for this atrocious called strike three, there is video proof that he threw his bat and plunked the ump with it after getting ejected.

Young was suspended 50 games without pay for his shitdickery and was promoted to the big leagues later that year. You see, kids, being a sack of fuck will eventually still pay off in the end…


If you don’t count the time Jayson Williams killed his limousine driver with a shotgun at his mansion or the time Gilbert Arenas threatened to shoot his Washington Wizards teammate with one of the four guns on display in his locker, the only weapon we could find used during a professional basketball melee was…wait for it…a plastic cup of beer.

Of course, we’re talking about the one that was thrown by a Pistons fan that hit perennial shitdick Ron Artest and set off the “Malice at the Palace.”

Artest would be suspended 86 games for losing his fucking mind and then of course would go on to become a world champion because just like we saw earlier, professional sports somehow always find a way to reward these guys…


Despite the fact that he played 17 seasons in the NHL, most millennials probably only know Marty McSorley for one thing – taking his stick and giving Donald Brashear a little how’s your father to the dome with it.

McSorley was suspended the final 23 games of that season and never played again in the NHL. On top of that, he was found guilty of assault with a weapon and sentenced to 18 months probation…

Honorable Mention

We’d be remiss not to mention the time another hockey player took off his skate and tried to stab another player with it.

Gilmore would go on to win a gold jacket, which means that Browns fans should actually be excited about Garrett’s actions. I mean, based on this track record, one would have to assume that he’ll be a Super Bowl champion in no time…

Wait, there’s more: You Can Bet On Where Colin Kaepernick Will Wind Up After This Weekend’s Workout

You have got to see this shit:

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