They Are Literally Praying In Kansas City For Patty Mahomes’ Injured Ankle To Heal

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by Frank Rhombus

OMG, girlfriend. O.M.G.

In this week’s piece of “you have got to be fist-fucking me” news, it appears as though at least one congregation in the Kansas City area has set up not one but two prayer services for…wait for it…Patrick Mahomes’ injured ankle.

No, seriously. From Fox 4 News:

“With the last two games, we kind of thought that they may need some type of help,” said Dave Burton, facilities director at Asbury United Methodist church in Prairie Village. “We knew that his ankle was injured so we decided to possibly have a healing service to help him heal that ankle quicker.”

The church plans to hold prayer services Sunday morning to ask for God’s help in healing Mahomes’ injured ankle. The idea is spreading through Chiefs Kingdom because of a sign sitting on the church’s property.

Everyone is welcome to attend the prayer and healing services Sunday morning at 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. The church said it will also send up a mention for any other NFL teams and their fans. So far, it hasn’t received any prayer requests for the Chiefs opponents.

I mean, forget about the homelessness crisis plaguing this country for yet another week, right, God? Let’s get that millionaire’s ankle back up to 100 percent. And while you’re at it, tell those 795 million people who have trouble finding enough food to eat to shut the fuck up and throw a little something in the direction of Lions fans. They’ve been taking it up the tailpipe for years now.

Jesus Christ…

Wait, there’s more: Josh Smith Is Apparently The NBA’s Bobby Bonilla

You have got to see this shit:

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