These College Football And NFL Week 8 Bets Are Sure To Crush Your Bookie, Bro


by Rakesh the Intern

13-5 over the last three weeks is not so pig shit awful now, is it, bro?

Let me tell you something, bro. This is the time of year when most people amongst the stupid betting public tell themselves that they know what they are doing now. They have had plenty of time to watch teams and determine whether they are decent or simply just shit from pig. Rakesh say let them bet with their hearts. I will continue to use brain and put Rupee mostly where shithead public is not.

Here is what I thinking for this weekend, bro:


Oklahoma at Kansas State (+23.5)

Listen, bro. Not only has betting public put so much Rupee on Oklahoma that line has moved from 19.5 to 23.5, but this Kansas State team will be celebrating homecoming at this game. Rakesh guess that they will come out like coked up freshman at East Coast frat party and knock several key Sooner players out of game. Cameras might catch cousin have sex time in stands too, bro. Needless to say, it is going to be crazier in that stadium than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro…

Duke at North Carolina UNDER 53.5 Points

Check it out, bro. The over has hit in Duke games something like six games in a row. Sooner or later, the opposite is going to happen. It remind me of Cousin Anagi in college. She would let something like 13 freshman inside her at one time and they would all just jackhammer away on her. Sick shit, bro. And she would keep doing this as if nothing bad was going to happen. Well, a little while later, her poon broke, bro. So Rakesh say load and lock up on the under in this one, bro…

Appalachian State at South Alabama OVER 52.5 Points

I’m telling you, bro. Not only has under hit in five straight South Alabama games, but almost 90 percent of dumber than box of goat shit public is loading up on under. Plus, this Appalachian State team has score at least 50 point in three games this year. I think we might get lucky and have them score all 53 point by themself, bro. Load and lock up on the over in this one, bro…


Arizona (+10.5) at New Orleans

Listen, bro. This New Orleans team has won and covered last five games, so everybody and grandma will be throwing kid’s college fund on them again this week. Line is already up to 10.5, bro! We’ll use Cousin Anagi rule in this one again, as sooner or later, opposite has to happen, bro…

Philadelphia (+1.5) at Buffalo

Check it out, bro. Unless some fan in Buffalo throw dildo on field that gives Carson Wentz concussion, there is no way that this Buffalo offense will be able to keep up with this Eagles team. Cousin Gokul’s computer has Eagles winning this one outright nine out of every 10 times, bro. But don’t be dipshit. If thugs in Vegas are giving you 1.5 points, take the fucking points, bro…

Cleveland (+12) at New England

Let me tell you something, bro. This Patriots team has now won and covered spread in three straight game, and betting public is all over them in this one like every man in Howrah on my ex-girlie Akansh. She was biggest slut in Howrah, so much so that even Cousin Gokul and Grandpa Sahir got piece of that poon. Well, thugs in Vegas will not let betting public keep taking them behind woodshed, bro. Look for Cleveland to still lose game because they suck balls, bro, but they will cover in this one, my friend…


2019 so far: 26-19

Last week: 5-1

NCAA: 15-9

NFL: 11-10

Wait, there is more, bro: Did Nelson Agholor Intentionally Not Catch This Ball From Carson Wentz?

You have got to see this shit:

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