Miami Dolphins Vendor Arrested After Having The Stones To Charge Fan $724 For Two Beers

jerk

by Tommy Gimler

Here’s a way to make sure literally nobody shows up for Miami’s next home game.

I mean, if it’s not the fact that the 0-4 Miami Dolphins are publicly tanking or the fact that Ryan Fitzpatrick sucks balls or the fact that Josh Rosen sucks even bigger balls, here’s another reason to just sit home and do anything else with your Sunday besides tuning into the next Dolphins game.

From the crew at Local 10 News:

A beer vendor was arrested Sunday at Hard Rock Stadium after using a Square reader to charge more than $700 to a fan’s credit card during a Miami Dolphins game, police said.

Nathaniel Collier, 33, faces charges of third-degree grand theft and possession of a skimming device.

According to an arrest affidavit, the victim ordered two beers from Collier during Miami’s 30-10 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers and gave him his credit card to pay for them. But police said Collier used his personal card reader to charge the victim $724. The victim was notified of the charge by his bank a short time later.

Um, hello, is this Mike? Oh it is. Good. Hi, this is Sahir at Wells Fargo. No, we’re not opening a new line of unwanted credit in your name this time around. We are actually calling just to make sure you didn’t really do something stupid like drop 724 bucks on two Bud Lights. Albeit a tasty fucking beverage in this 95-degree heat, you could most likely find a better deal anywhere on the planet.

The good news is that Collier’s employer said that the credit card company issued a “full refund,” which means this poor chap might have actually been the luckiest Dolphins fan inside Hard Rock Stadium on Sunday. After all, the only thing that might make a 20-point loss less painful is a couple of free beers. Or a blow job from your wife’s sister, of course, but free beers are probably more likely to happen…

Wait, there’s more: Youth Football Coach Gets Busted Checking Out Female Reporter’s Poop Chute

You have got to see this shit:

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