It’ll Cost You More To Get Into The Miami Zoo This Sunday Than The Dolphins-Redskins Game

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by Tommy Gimler

Do you want to see the red-assed monkeys play with their shit or the Redskins play like shit in Miami this Sunday?

Well, if it comes down to being a financial decision, you’re actually going to be better off watching Colt McCoy throw six-yard passes to nobody. Check out this shit:

I mean, even if you don’t get the Dolphins beer vendor who has the stones to charge you 724 clams for a pair of brewskis, odds are you’re going to pay more for a couple of cups of suds than you will for your admission into the game. Hell, unless you’re getting free tickets into a box where the drinks and chicken tenders are free and there’s a TV inside that has a game on it featuring two professional teams that are actually trying to win the game, there is no reason to set foot in that stadium.

Now, if somebody’s got a sawed-off shotgun in your mouth and you have to choose one of those events to go to, don’t be an idiot and try to cut costs. Go see the red-assed monkeys throw their poop at each other for 23 bucks. If you’re lucky enough, you might even catch them playing with their dinghies…

Wait, there’s more: Just Lamar Odom Scratching His Junk On National Television

You have got to see this shit:

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