You Should Be Able To Buy New Wife After Winning These College Football And NFL Bets, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Calling these games of silly American football seem to be harder than college freshman in hooker house, bro.

Still, at just one game under .500 mark, it could be much worse. Time to make bookie your bitch starts right now with these picks, my friend:

NCAA

Minnesota (-1) at Purdue

So let me get this straight, bro. This shit from pig Minnesota team barely sneak out win at home against Georgia Southern, and now they’re one-point favorite on road at Purdue? Something smell fishier than Akansh’s poon, and she was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Even Grandpa Sahir hit that shit on his 82nd birthday. Something look like thugs in Vegas will have hand in this one, as Purdue should be at least field goal favorite at home and are instead one-point dog. Load and lock up Golden Gopher in this one, bro…

Washington State at Utah (-5.5)

Check it out, bro. What I see before game time is mass of stupid American public loading up on this Washington State team on road. Don’t be dipshit, bro. There is reason thugs in Vegas live in high rise and you live with grandma. Line has already move from -8 to -5.5, so you know Vegas will make sure this one ends in at least touchdown win for Utah. Load and lock up on Utah, bro…

Houston at North Texas OVER 59 Points

I’m telling you, bro. So this Houston quarterback basically quits on team and we’re supposed to believe that Houston will chip in with point total almost at 60, bro? Give me fucking break, my friend. This one is almost as simple as Cousin Harish and he was born with just three-quarter brain. Point total should be no higher than 47 in this one, so somebody know something we don’t, and we’re going to trust them. Take the over, bro…

NFL

Cleveland (+7) at Baltimore

Seattle at Arizona UNDER 48 Points

Tampa Bay at LA Rams OVER 48.5 Points

2019 so far: 10-11

Last week: 3-3

NCAA: 7-5

NFL: 3-6

Wait, there is more, bro: Look How Much Fun They Had At The Eagles-Packers Game Last Night

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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