Week 1 Of College Football Is Perfect Time To Crush Bookie, Bro


by Rakesh the Intern

The silly game of American football is back, bro!

Look, bro. Last year, Rakesh make so much Rupee betting on this crazy came of American football that I was able to buy cow for family back in Howrah for Christmas. They were like, “Rakesh, what is Christmas?”, but I’m pretty sure they were happy with present.

Well, this year, I say let’s start making bookie our bitch early and often and be able to buy family entire herd of cattle by season’s end. Here is what I am thinking for Week 1 of 2019 college football season. Good luck, bro.


Toledo at Kentucky OVER 61 Points

Check it out, bro. Something smell fishy in this one just like my ex-girlie Akansh’s poon, and she was biggest slut in Howrah. Tough to clean that thing out and make it smell like strawberry when it always has something jammed inside. This Kentucky defense a year ago was top ten in only giving up 16.3 points per game. Just 16.3 points per game, bro! So now we’re supposed to expect shit from pig Toledo team is going to come in and light them up so total of 61 or more points will be scored? Get the fuck out of Chinatown, bro. Thugs in Vegas will make sure over hits in this one, bro…

Virginia (-2.5) at Pittsburgh

I’m telling you, bro. This Virginia basketball team might be national champions, but their football team is shit from pig. So what does that tell you about this Pittsburgh team if they are underdog at home? Well, what it should tell you my friend is that Virginia is probably going to beat the goat shit out of them. I say take Rupee and load and lock up on this Cavaliers team, bro…

Georgia at Vanderbilt (+22.5)

Listen, bro. This one is almost as simple as Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. The betting public is riding Georgia harder than Akansh, and let’s just say there is reason why thugs in Vegas live in high rise casinos while betting public is stealing money out of grandma’s underwear drawer for lunch at Wendy’s. If 98 percent of public is saying Georgia will cover this game, so much so that spread moves a full three points, I’ll throw Rupee on rich kids at Vanderbilt and hope for fix. Good luck, bro…

Wait, there’s more: Needing Just A Touchdown With More Than 9 Minutes Left To Play, Utah Dished Out A Giant D**k Sandwich To Over Bettors

You have got to see this shit:

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