The Sports Gambling Podcast’s Sean Green Is Riding The E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles And Nobody Else In The NFC East

sean green

by Sean Green of the Sports Gambling Podcast

A tradition unlike any other, no not The Masters, me going through the NFC East totals shitting on all the other teams while eventually taking the Eagles.

Washington Redskins (OVER 6 +145 / UNDER 6 -175)

It’s 2019. Cancel Culture is rampant and somehow they’re still holding on to their name the Washington Redskins. The name Redskins is the only thing Daniel Snyder has been able to hold onto as he’s lost a large portion of the fan base, their winning culture and even The Hoggettes (a group of weirdos who cheered for the Redskins OL)!

If the Hoggettes were around they’d have nothing to cheer for this season. Starting LT Trent Williams has refused to play for the team and they just named Ereck Flowers their starting RG. Ereck Flowers blocking is almost as horrific as the treatment of Native Americans in this country. Oh and Case Keenum really sucks.

UNDER 6!

New York Giants (OVER 6 +105 / UNDER 6 -135)

As an avid sports gambler I like looking at analytics to help make my betting selections. Through a tremendous amount of research I found a high correlation between a team having a horrific QB and that team not winning games. Enter Eli Manning, 2-14 in the first half of seasons the past two years. Finally the Giants management woke up and Drafted Daniel “Scones” Jones, but even over-drafting him at the number six pick they aren’t ready to start him yet.

Goodbyes are tough and the Mara brothers “wish they knew how to quit Eli” but they just can’t. Add in the fact that they’ve lost Corey Coleman for the season, Sterling Shepard has a broken thumb and Golden Tate is out four games because of a PED violation. The Giants don’t have anyone to throw or catch the ball, both very important in the NFL.

UNDER 6!

Dallas Cowboys (OVER 9 -115 / UNDER 9 -115)

The Cowboys’ best player Ezekiel Elliott is still down in Cabo San Lucas where he claims to be training. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Cabo is also a huge party and spring break destination. Total coincidence, right Zeke? Maybe he just wanted to enter a wet t-shirt contest, finally somewhere he’s not out of place in his crop top.

While Zeke is hanging out at Senor Frogs, the other Cowboys skill players are taking a hit as Amari Cooper is dealing with plantar fasciitis, which is a red flag for any WR. Jason Witten was washed up when he retired last year, now he’s expected to contribute on the field? Witten was hired simply to avoid the weekly embarrassment on Monday Night Football. Final stat I have is always bet against a QB named Rayne Dakota, sounds more like a porn star than a franchise QB, except the only ones that will be fucked is people who take the over.

UNDER 9!

Philadelphia Eagles (OVER 10 -150 / UNDER 10 +120)

The Eagles had a down year last year and even then they were one Alshon Jeffery drop away from going to the NFC Championship game against a LA Rams team they would most certainly beat. You would have no idea because every goddamn best coaches list has Sean McVay above Doug P, in spite of the fact that Doug P is 2-0 against McVay and unlike McVay, he beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Even though they lost their LONG COX combination, it’s been replaced by JACKSON COX. Now if you’ve seen the Neverland documentary you don’t normally want your COX near a Jackson, but Malik Jackson is the exception. He’ll help this team continue their strong line play in addition to the skill players they got in Jordan Howard and DeSean Jackson.

The sky’s the limit for this team. Josh McCown rounds out the additions and will steady the ship in case there are any minor bumps in the return of the Ginger Jesus himself Carson Wentz!

OVER 10!

Sean Green is a stand up comedian, co-host of ‘The Sports Gambling Podcast’ and host of ‘Sean’s Sports Show’. Oh, and fuck Dallas…

Wait, there’s more: Aaron Rodgers Decided To Have Fun Today And Dress Up As The Happy Gilmore Orderly

You have got to see this shit:

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