One Man’s D**k Sandwich Wound Up Being Another Man’s Third Home Run Of The Game

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by Tommy Gimler

If you’re looking for one play to sum up the 2019 Detroit Tigers season, here’s one that’s more than qualified.

Down 9-6, some guy we’ve never fucking heard of served up a deep fly ball to Seattle’s Kyle Seager that by all accounts should have been caught and brought an end to the inning. Yeah, that didn’t happen:

Even crazier than that specific bout of shitdickery from Niko Goodrum has to be the fact that that is what made Seager the 11th player in Mariners history to homer three times in one game. I mean, good for him, and at that point, your best bet is to give the bat boy 100 bucks and tell him to go quick pick the shit out of the Mega Millions drawing because it’s your night, brah…

Wait, there’s more: Subpar ESPN Baseball Analyst Alex Rodriguez Is A Great Reminder To Never Have $500K Worth Of Stuff In Your Vehicle

You have got to see this shit:

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