What’s The Worst Fantasy Football Team Name Of All Time?


by Tommy Gimler

My Nut Zach Ertz is a goddamn knee-slapper, but it’s nowhere near to being as awful as these possible team names.

Every fantasy football dork knows the best part of their fake season is the draft, but even that highlight of the year can be enhanced if every dweeb in the league is onboard with putting the extra effort into naming their squad. Hell, it’s even better when the entire league gets to name the team belonging to the poor fuck who finished last, like one of the leagues I’m currently in with a bunch of Midwest guys who decided that staying in that part of the country and marrying a girl who would eventually put on 80 pounds and spend the better part of her day yelling about, well, everything was for suckers so they all moved out to Los Angeles instead.

Last year’s team name for the previous year’s cellar dweller? You guessed it - I’m A Sex Offender.

Imagine the horror on this guy’s face every time he had to bring up the Yahoo! Sports app on his phone to set his lineup while he was at the local coffee shop, in a new Asian girl’s bed, on an airplane or at church for some reason. What if somebody next to him saw that shit? In 2019 America, that could be a career-ender, although since he’s currently unemployed, it makes it far less damning.

Any crap, somebody else finished last in 2018, so we are now in the process of naming his team, and that got us thinking about – outside of something personal, racist and homophobic of course – what would be the worst possible fantasy football team name you could burden some fantasy nerd with? We did some research and took an edible, and this is what we came up with in five minutes. Keep in mind, you can usually only use a maximum of 20 characters:

Cosby’s Sleepers
I Fucked Slenderman
I Drank Steve’s Piss
Skullfucking Nuns
Puppy Killer 16
I Plow My Sister
GoatFucker 69

And there you have it. I suddenly feel like a horrible person. Vote below on which of those names you think is the worst, or add your own in the comment section if you’re enough of an asshole…

Wait, there’s more: Dwight Gooden Is Having One Hell Of A Summer

You have got to see this shit:

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One Response to What’s The Worst Fantasy Football Team Name Of All Time?

  1. Sperm Burping Gutter Slut or some variation of burping sperm?
    Like, The Scranton Sperm Burpers?

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