The Reds And Pirates Might Suck Balls But This Brawl Certainly Did Not

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by Tommy Gimler

Yasiel Puig’s last throw for the Cincinnati Reds was a haymaker.

Odds are you missed the Reds-Pirates game last night because you were busy doing anything else, but that means you missed what was probably the best brawl of the 2019 MLB season. Just what does it take to earn that title? Well, Reds reliever Amir Garrett taking on the entire Pirates roster by himself is a good place to start. Grab some popcorn and a Leinenkugel’s and enjoy this gem:

There were two phenomenal breakdowns of the brawl, and of course, one of them was courtesy of the great Bob Menery. Here’s what that one sounded like:

The other comes to us from Jomboy on Twitter. He first set up the brawl beautifully with this clip:

He then broke down how yuge disappointment Chris Archer’s shitty 2019 season somehow got worse after he tried to play peacemaker but then wound up devouring a massive dick sandwich at the bottom of the shitheap:

Jomboy also has two more breakdowns that are totally worth watching if you hate your job and don’t care if your boss told you stay off the damn Twitter.

As for The DUD’s take on it, well, here it is:

1) If you’re looking for a way to get me to watch two pig shit awful teams like the Reds and Pirates play nine innings, that’s a good way to make it happen.

2) I could watch Joey Votto call Pirates players pussies all day long despite the fact that he’s a hypocrite in doing so. Yup, OBP is for pussies, brah. Real men swing the bat.

3) Sometimes you have to look into the opposing team’s dugout and say, “I’m going to fight all of you sick fucks by myself” before you truly, truly realize that cocaine is one hell of a drug…

Wait, there’s more: These 3 Teams Should Seriously Think About Unloading Their Entire Roster At The MLB Trade Deadline

You have got to see this shit:

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