Look How Much Fun They Had At The Cubs-White Sox Game Saturday Night

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by Frank Rhombus

We may have found what caused that 6.9-magnitude quake 2,000 miles away in California Saturday night.

At first glance, it might look like a fight between Walmart patrons over the last remaining $20 TV on Black Friday, but that is not the case. Instead, people actually showed up to Guaranteed Rate Field to watch a baseball game Saturday night, and by the looks of things, it must have been “Dollar Hot Dog Night.”

Watch as what has to be the entire offensive line for Elgin Community College’s female club football team gets into it with the crew from Joliet. Or each other. Who the fuck knows? Either way, there are “Jerry, Jerry!” chants as well as a glimpse at a super fat ass or two since none of the fighters are slim enough to fit into real denim jeans, and of course, their slip on taco pants can be easily pulled down.

Hey, congrats to all of those “ladies,” as other than walking back and forth to the concession stand, that was by far the most physical activity they’ve exerted this summer.

We’ve already checked in with our team in Vegas, and the thugs there have set the over/under of number of kids each of those winners has before the age of 27 at 3 1/2. Meanwhile, our Indian intern Rakesh says the over is a lock, bro…

Wait, there’s more: Deion Sanders And His Son Had A Twitter Convo That Somehow Involved Jerking Off

You have got to see this shit:

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