Mike Conley Is Stoked To Play For The ‘City Of Utah’

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by Tommy Gimler

Stay in school, kids, otherwise you’ll never be able to find the great state of Milwaukee on a map.

In case you forgot, Mike Conley only spent one year at the institution of higher learning known as the Ohio State University. Obviously, he wasn’t there for academics, something you could have easily deciphered from the fact that many students need around four years to obtain a degree. You also could have figured that out from the tweet he sent after the Memphis Grizzlies traded the point guard to Utah following 12 seasons in “Grind City.”

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Oh, we took note, guy.

Don’t know what we’re talking about yet? It’s OK, we get it. It’s Thursday, and the only thought on your mind right now is the possible post-happy hour hump sesh you’re hoping will take place between you and the new girl who transferred from the Beijing office.

But you see, kids, Utah is not a city. It’s a state, and a beautiful one at that. I’m talking about Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park and of course, Chrissy Teigen. And we’re sure if Mike Conley hasn’t figured that out yet, he will once he checks his Twitter feed this morning…

Wait, there’s more: Look How Much Fun They’re Having Watching Children Play Baseball In Lakewood, Colorado

You have got to see this shit:

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