Absolute Loser Orioles Fan Doesn’t Give Kids Foul Ball Because He’s Been Waiting 30 Years To Get One

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by Tommy Gimler

Looks like he’s been waiting even longer than that to get some pussy.

You often hear about baseball’s unwritten rules, and whether or not you care for them, we don’t give a shit. There are some unwritten rules for those in the seats as well, and those are the ones we’re here to discuss.

For example, once you graduate from high school, it’s time to stop bringing a glove to the game. We’ll cut you some slack if you’re sitting down the line and you’ve brought a youngster to the game and you’re doing it in an effort to prevent him from taking one to the dome, but otherwise, don’t be a tool. Leave the mitt at home.

But perhaps the biggest unwritten rule for spectators is that if a foul ball is hit in your general vicinity, and there are youngsters either sitting right behind you or running over to get it, give the damn thing to them. Again, we’ll cut you some slack if you’re at the ballgame with a young lady and she says she’ll fuck you stupid if you get her a foul ball, but outside of that, it’s just a rubber-coated cork wrapped in yarn and cowhide. Let it go, Indiana. Don’t be this fucking clown:

Geez, Facher. You’re right. You’re terrible. You found perhaps the only way to make Chris Davis not look like the biggest fucking loser in the ballpark.

We’ve got our intern on it, but it’s currently unknown how many women and children this guy pushed out of the way when the concession stand announced they were down to their last cup of cheese fries…

Wait, there’s more: The Name ‘Giannis’ For American Newborns Is Up 662 Percent Since 2016

You have got to see this shit:

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