Vladimir Putin Is Once Again The Greatest Hockey Player In The World

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by Tommy Gimler

If you thought Alex Ovechkin was the best hockey player in the world from Russia, you’re sorely mistaken.

That honor once again belongs to none other than Vladimir Putin, who torched his opponents for…wait for it…10 motherfucking goals in an exhibition game today, yesterday or tomorrow or however that shit works. Of course, it helps that his opponents were probably deathly afraid of getting hooked up to car batteries and having their testicles fed to their mothers before they were all thrown in a fucking incinerator together, but here he is, lighting up the scoreboard like he’s Andy Reid in a punt, pass and kick competition.

Well done, lads. Congrats on still having a pulse. As for the sorry fuck who left the red carpet out on the ice and didn’t tell him? If you’ve got a bucket list, now’s the time to get your ass to Disneyland.

Wait, there’s more: Louisville Batter Gets Plunked In The Dome, Umpire Calls It A Strike

You have got to see this shit:

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