Only 5,786 People Paid To See Baseball At Tropicana Field Last Night

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by Tommy Gimler

To put that in perspective, four times that amount showed up to see Sister Hazel suck ass for 45 minutes after a Rays game in 2015.

Hey, in case you haven’t noticed – and judging by attendance you haven’t – the Tampa Bay Rays have managed to win a few ball games the last couple of years and are threatening to stay out of the AL East cellar once again in 2019. At 33-19, the Rays are just one game behind the Yanks in the division and 5 1/2 games up on the A’s for top dog in the AL Wild Card race.

Still, nobody in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area wants to go watch these guys play at Tropicana Field. Maybe it’s because 40 percent of St. Petersburg is old enough to get a free cup of coffee at Denny’s, and they have to be in bed with the lights out at the old folks home by 8 p.m. Or maybe it’s because if you want to make it to your seat in time for first pitch and you actually live in Tampa proper, you have to leave your place damn near a full day ahead of time so you don’t get stuck in traffic on the Howard Frankland Bridge.

Whatever the excuse might be for the average Rays fan, it’s starting to get embarrassing. Tuesday night’s announced attendance to watch the Rays take care of business against the visiting Blue Jays? A c-hair under 5,800. It was 5,786 to be exact, although they were lucky if half of that actually showed up. I mean, sure, it was much better than the 23 or 24 people who showed up on the South Side to watch the Royals and White Sox go at it, but at least those fans had an excuse, as the game-time temperature was 51 degrees to go along with wind and rain.

In St. Petersburg, the game-time temp was somewhere in the low 90s outside and near fucking perfect inside the air-conditioned dome, yet the smallest crowd in franchise history made their way to the ballpark. The previous low was 6,509 on September 5, 2017, but at least fans had a great excuse to stay away on that day. That’s right, kids. A goddamn hurricane was in the forecast, and still, more people made it out to take in their beloved team on the diamond than Tuesday night.

Based on our calculations, there’s only solution to the problem. Either pack up everything and move to Vegas or, well, that’s it really…

Wait, there’s more: Can Bob Menery Please Call The Actual College Baseball World Series?

You have got to see this shit:

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