Microphone At Baseball Game Picks Up Guy Complaining About His Girl Giving A Beej To Some Other Dude

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by Tommy Gimler

Ah, yes. America’s Pastime.

Usually at high school baseball games, the majority of the chatter in the stands centers around rooting for the players to run hard or determining whether or not Ryan should ask Becky to go to prom. Or I suppose these days it’s more like some kid named Northwest Jenkins asking Grapefruit Smith.

Any crap, a hot mic at a recent Indiana high school baseball game picked up what could be the greatest line ever uttered at such an event.

That line? You guessed it – “Hey. Hey. I need a baseball bat. My girlfriend’s sucking somebody else’s dick.”

The rest of the prudes taking in the game didn’t take too kindly to such filth being thrown around their stadium, which given that it’s Indiana, is nowhere near as shocking as the fact that nobody seems to care about the cheating cocksucker’s well-being. Somebody get off your ass, find her, remove her mouth from the dick and put her on a flight to Idaho so she doesn’t get her face smashed to shit.

In a related story, I see that defense at high school baseball games is still beyond brutal. Five errors in this one, and there are still a couple innings left to play. And how about that kid pitching with the last name Gehrig? Imagine the pressure on this poor guy in a redneck state like Indiana.

Kid: “Dad, I want to be a writer.”

Dad: “You’re playing baseball and you’re going to like it. You’re a Gehrig, not a queer.”

Wait, there’s more: Instead Of Focusing On Christian Yelich At The Plate, Phillies Fan Picks His Nose And Eats A Booger

You have got to see this shit:

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