Lamar Odom Wants Everyone To Know That He Wore A Fake Penis During The Olympics

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by Tommy Gimler

If it wasn’t already official, now it sure as shit is: Lamar Odom is the Charlie Sheen of sports.

Hookers, drugs, basketball, Kardashians and more drugs. That’s pretty much how you can sum up the last 20 years of Lamar Odom’s life, or I guess you can consider that the CliffsNotes version of Odom’s new memoir titled “Darkness to Light.”

One excerpt from the book goes into detail about his heavy drug use around the time he joined other elite ballplayers in Athens for the 2004 Olympics. What comes along with extremely heavy drug use? You guessed it – strapping on a fake cock to ensure you pass drug tests.

No, seriously. From Total Pro Sports:

Odom was using drugs heavy around that time and knew for a fact that he would fail a drug test, but he had an idea. So, to stop from being disqualified from competing at the Olympics in Athens, Greece, Odom “started googling ‘fake penises’ and studied different ways to beat a drug test,” he writes. “After an exhaustive search we ordered a giant, rubber, black cock to arrive the next day.”

Once the official tester arrived at his house, he recruited his drug-free trainer “to urinate into the reservoir of the phallus, which was hidden in the balls,” he writes.

“He handed me the rubber penis and left the bathroom as I strapped it on,” Odom writes about his trainer.

The security official entered the bathroom and stood two feet away while Odom squeezed out his trainer’s pee from the prosthetic.

“I unzipped my pants and carefully slid the fake penis through the zipper hole. To get the pee to come out of the tip, I had to squeeze the shaft repeatedly,” Odom writes.

Odom says he “was paranoid it wouldn’t work,” but everything went according to plan and he passed the test.

“He stuck a thermometer in the cup to gauge the temperature … satisfied that the pee was mine, said ‘Welcome to Team USA,’ ” Odom writes.

Outstanding story about Lamar Odom going above and beyond for his country. What a true patriot…

Wait, there’s more: Microphone At Baseball Game Picks Up Guy Complaining About His Girl Giving A Beej To Some Other Dude

You have got to see this shit:

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