Who Killed Russell Wilson And Then Jumped Inside His Body To Continue His Legacy?

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by Tommy Gimler

This dude still looks a lot like Russell Wilson, but he all of sudden sounds a lot like the rapper Future giving an interview after ingesting a fuck-ton of edibles.

Even the most casual of Seattle Seahawks fans must have noticed this by now. Ever since he signed that record-breaking contract extension earlier this month, Russell Wilson no longer sounds like the guy who guided Seattle to two consecutive Super Bowls.

Hell, he doesn’t even sound close to the guy who talked to reporters following his team’s postseason loss to the Cowboys earlier this year.

In both cases, you could close your eyes and listen to the gentleman behind the mic answer questions and say, “Yeah, that’s the Russell Wilson we all know and love.”

So with all due respect, who the fuck is this guy?

It’s currently unknown who’s responsible for the new Russell Wilson. Is it the Illuminati? The same guys who turned Billy Shears into Paul McCartney after the original Beatles heart throb was killed in a car wreck? The White Walkers?

Either way, we’ve heard before that money changes a man, but this is fucking absurd…

Wait, there’s more: Somebody Dropped Some Major Ass On The Sixers Bench Last Night

You have got to see this shit:

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