Somebody Dropped Some Major Ass On The Sixers Bench Last Night

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by Tommy Gimler

The NBA postseason apparently makes some players more nervous than others.

It’s no secret than anxiety and nerves are going to bring out the farts. According to, “the stress (resulting from the anxiety) can prevent a person’s body from processing food efficiently, often passing it through the system too slowly. This can cause the bacteria in your body to build up and produce excess gas and bloating.”

Of course, two Beefy 5-Layer Burritos from Taco Bell can do the same thing within 90 seconds of ingesting them whether you’re calm as shit or nervous as fuck.

Now it’s unknown if either the stress or an ill-advised “run for the border” was the reason behind the ass drop at the end of the Sixers bench during the fourth quarter of their 131-115 Game 3 win over the Nets last night. Hell, who knows? Maybe Joel Embiid is lactose intolerant but decided to partake in some Häagen-Dazs anyway. Whatever it was and whoever it was, based on this reaction, it might have required he who dealt it to get his hands on a fresh set of drawers once they got back to the locker room:

Look, I’ve dealt and smelled my fair share of farts in my day, and in my expert opinion, the dude dressed in all black on the far right has to be the guy who cut the cheese this time around. I mean, either that or he lacks a sense of smell, but he almost seems to be quietly basking in the stench of his own ass biscuit here…

Wait, there’s more: Here’s First Take’s Max Kellerman Coughing To Cover Up A Fart But You Can Still Hear The Fart

You have got to see this shit:

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