Worst Division In Baseball Is This AL Central, Bro

terry francona indians

by Rakesh the Intern

Look more Detroit to have more murders than baseball wins this summer, bro.

Check it out, bro. It’s no cricket, but this silly game of American baseball is pretty goddamn entertaining, bro. It is a sport where fat managers still dress up as players and make $10 million (125 million Rupee) in the process. What a country, bro.

Anyway, boss asked me to look at every division in baseball this year and then put Rupee on win total overs and unders, and here is what I think is going to happen in AL Central, bro:

1. Cleveland Indians

terry francona indians

Listen, bro. Best starting pitching staff in all of baseball is on this team right here named after my people, bro. Oh wait, my bad. This is the feather. Anyway, most of division is shit from pig and won’t be able to hit against stud pitching staff. Jose Ramirez might look fat  - like Uncle Rishabh fat, and that dude is 400-pounder these days – but pudgy fucker sure can hit and run. Offense is still good enough to score 5 runs a game, and with this pitching, that is all they should need, bro…

2018 record: 91-71 (1st place)

2019 DUD prediction: 94-68 (1st place)

Vegas says: 90.5 wins (1st place)

Bleacher Report says: 95-67 (1st place)

FanGraphs says: 93-69 (1st place)

2. Minnesota Twins


Check it out, bro. There is one thing that Uncle Omkar told me before being sent to prison for fixing local cricket match. He say that if it sounds too good to be true, then that is usually case, bro. Here we have a Minnesota Twins team that Rakesh look at and say, “These guys look like Cousin Gokul at billiards, and he was born with baby left arm.” Sad shit when you try to watch him line up cue, bro. But then I see thugs in Vegas have them at 84.5 wins, and I say, “Something is up here, bro.” That is why I go with over, as it looks like fix is in for this team to win games, bro…

2018 record: 78-84 (2nd place)

2019 DUD prediction: 88-74 (2nd place)

Vegas says: 84.5 wins (2nd place)

Bleacher Report says: 87-75 (2nd place)

FanGraphs says: 82-80 (2nd place)

3. Kansas City Royals

ned yost sucks

Let me tell you something, bro. There are three of fastest guys in league on this team, and surprisingly, one of them is white. No joke, bro. They are going to need to run fucking asses off because this pitching staff is pure goat shit. Plus, my boss say that manager is one of worst in history of the game, yet he somehow still won World Series. Look for up and down season, but over for this team is bigger lock than Gokul and his baby arm not getting any poon again this year, bro…

2018 record: 58-104 (5th place)

2019 DUD prediction: 77-85 (3rd place)

Vegas says: 69.5 wins (4th place)

Bleacher Report says: 63-99 (4th place)

FanGraphs says: 68-94 (4th place)

4. Chicago White Sox

white sox

I’m telling you, bro. This White Sox team is loaded from top to bottom with elite young players, but since silly game of baseball is more fucked up than Uncle Kunal, none of them will be playing in big leagues again this year. Just how crazy is that, bro? Well, we once caught Uncle Kunal fucking a goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro. Got to get those players to the Major Leagues, or this team will continue to suck shit, bro…

2018 record: 62-100 (4th place)

2019 DUD prediction: 72-90 (4th place)

Vegas says: 74.5 wins (3rd place)

Bleacher Report says: 74-88 (3rd place)

FanGraphs says: 70-92 (3rd place)

5. Detroit Tigers


I’ll tell you what, bro. You show me one person who can name six players on Tigers team this year, and I’ll show you fucking liar, bro. This shit from pig team might be worst in all of baseball, and that means city of Detroit will probably turn to what they know best: rape and murder, bro…

2018 record: 64-98 (3rd place)

2019 DUD prediction: 56-106 (5th place)

Vegas says: 68.5 wins (5th place)

Bleacher Report says: 62-100 (5th place)

FanGraphs says: 67-95 (5th place)

Wait, there’s more, bro: Looks Like Yankees Will Beat Goat Piss Out Of Every AL East Team This Year, Bro

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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