Will Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Spend Any Time In Jail For A Massage Parlor Knob Job? You Can Actually Bet On It

New England Patriots v Detroit Lions

by Tommy Gimler

‘Merica.

If you haven’t heard by now that New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft was charged with soliciting a hooker at a massage parlor last week as part of a Jupiter, Florida sting operation that has been in the works for several months, well, congrats on waking up from your coma. There are some reports that police have video evidence of Kraft getting his schlong sucked, but let’s hope Kraft outbids TMZ for the rights to it should it really exist.

Of course, like any great “sporting event,” the entire thing is much more enjoyable if you’ve got money on it, and wouldn’t you know it, you can actually bet your kid’s college fund on whether or not Kraft will be found guilty and whether or not he’ll be thrown in the clink in 2019. Thanks, OddsShark.

No word on what side the public is leaning on, but “no” in the “guilty of soliciting prostitution” bet looks pretty fucking tasty at +300. I mean, this is Robert Kraft of the Patriots we’re talking about here. This isn’t the owner of the Lions or Bills. This is a fucking winner.

He might plead guilty to misdemeanor trespassing or being too rich to be in a strip mall with “regular” people, but I don’t see him going to trial with this nor do I see him holding a press conference where he admits that he let some skank suck him off after a 30-minute deep tissue massage, and as a result, he’s going to plead guilty.

Good luck, degenerates…

Wait, there’s more: Coast-To-Coast Old Guy Report – Robert Kraft Does Hookers, Don Nelson Does Weed

You have got to see this shit:

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