Kentucky Beats Texas A&M By 14 And Covers – Oh Wait, Dude Hits Half-Court Shot At Buzzer To Wreck Your Parlay

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by Tommy Gimler

The dick sandwich continues to be number one on Sin City’s menu.

Odds are you missed the Kentucky Wildcats squaring off against the Texas A&M Aggies on the hardwood last night because it’s college basketball and the calendar has yet to hit March, but that means you missed what is sure to be a “Bad Beat of the Year” candidate despite the fact that 2019 is younger than a girl R. Kelly likes to rape.

According to Vegas Insider, the thugs in Vegas gave degenerates an opening line of Kentucky -12.5, and much like a college freshman on anything that moves, bettors were all over it. In fact, the line wound up closing at -15 after…wait for it…97 percent of gamblers hammered it.

Well, for those bettors who were able to grab it at -13.5 or less, it was time to light the cigar and hit up a clicker for one of those skank cards as Kentucky dribbled out the final seconds with a 14-point lead. But when a Kentucky player threw the ball in the air to kill the final second, officials called a shot-clock violation and awarded the ball to Texas A&M at half court with less than a second left. Even at that point, it was like, “Big fucking deal. Pay me my monies.”

Of course, that’s when this happened:

Poop…

Wait, there’s more: Can You Kick A 43-Yard Field Goal This Weekend? If So, Chicago’s Goose Island Beer Company Will Give You Free Beer For A Year

You have got to see this shit:

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