NFL Week 15 & First Weekend Of College Football Bowl Games Is Perfect Time To Make Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Why settle for buying jewelry for just wife when you can also make enough money to buy one for hooker as well, bro?

Another great showing for Rakesh two weeks ago, as I hit on 4 of 6 picks. Time to take all that Rupee and make bookie and his entire family your bitch this week. Here is what I am thinking for this weekend, bro:

NCAA

Eastern Michigan vs. Georgia Southern (-3) in the Camellia Bowl

Check it out, bro. This one is simpler than Cousin Harish, and he was born with just three-quarter brain. Sad shit, bro. A lot of time he thinks asshole is candy factory. Anyway, this Georgia Southern team is one of top rushing teams in country, and this shit from pig Eastern Michigan defense can’t stop it. Look for this one to be in hand by halftime, bro…

Arizona State (+5.5) vs. Fresno State in the Las Vegas Bowl

Let me tell you something, bro. This one is worth watching just so Rakesh can see drunk ASU girlies in the Vegas crowd. I’m telling you, bro. Those Sun Devil girlies will fuck anything that moves. That – and that alone is why I am taking ASU in this one. Drunk ASU poon, my friend…

Middle Tennessee State vs. Appalachian State (-6) in the New Orleans Bowl

Listen, bro. This Appalachian State defense is pretty much the exact opposite of my ex-girlfriend Akansh. You see, bro, Akansh was biggest slut in Howrah, and this Appalachian State defense doesn’t let anything get in end zone. Final score of this one might be 12-0, so feel free to parlay this shit with the under if you’re really looking to make bookie your bitch. But for sure bet here is Appalachian State to cover in this one…

NFL

Cleveland at Denver OVER 47 Points

Look, bro. The under has hit in Denver game five straight times. Sooner or later, the opposite is going to happen. It remind me of Cousin Anagi in college, bro. She would let something like 13 freshmen hump away inside her at same time, and she would keep doing this as though nothing bad was going to happen. Well, let me tell you something, bro. A little while later, she didn’t get pregnant, but her poon broke. Sick shit, bro. Doctor was able to sew her back together, but Howrah buddy who recently got piece of that shit said it was like hallway hot dog throwing or whatever you say in this country. Just take the over in this one, bro…

Tampa Bay (+8.5) at Baltimore

Check it out, bro. This rapist Jameis Winston has been playing pretty good football since losing job to Conor McGregor and then getting it back. He is going to pretend that Ravens defense is Uber driver and have his way with them. Ravens probably win this one on late field goal, but that is still a win since Tampa Bay is getting so many points here, bro…

Seattle at San Francisco OVER 44 Points

Listen, bro. Something smell fishier than Akansh’s poon in this one, bro. Last week, Russell Wilson was shit from pig quarterback and offense only put 14 points on scoreboard. Likewise, San Francisco only put up 20 on Denver. Point total in this one should be no higher than 36 according to my math, and since I’m technically Asian, you know it is good math, bro. So when I see total as high as 44, I have no choice but to take over and hope thugs in Vegas have hands all over this one, bro… 

2018 so far, bro: 41-32

Last time: 4-2

NCAA: 21-16

NFL: 20-16

Wait, there’s more, bro: Further Proof That Stephen A. Smith Is A Worthless Turd

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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