Duquesne Covers Against Penn State – Oh Wait, Coach Gets Two Technical Fouls In Final Six Seconds And Penn State Covers

keith dambrot technical fouls

by Tommy Gimler

If you had Duquesne +5 last night, do yourself a solid and order up the 24-hour porn package in your Best Western hotel room tonight. You deserve a pick-me-up.

Odds are you missed the Penn State Nittany Lions square off against the Duquesne Dukes on the hardwood in Pittsburgh last night because you were busy doing anything else, but that means you missed one of the craziest college basketball fixes yet.

With the game tied at 67 a piece, Penn State guard Lamar Stevens drove to the basket and damn near hit the game-winning deuce thanks to the refs allowing him to push the Duquesne defender out of the way. Well, another Dukes player stepped in and tried to draw a charge but was instead called for a block with just a c-hair under six seconds to play.

Now if you had your kid’s college fund riding on Duquesne to outright with the game, well, this was bad news because Stevens was shooting 77 percent at the charity stripe this year, and odds are he was going to hit at least one of them. But if you were amongst the 75 percent of bettors who had the Dukes to simply cover the 5 or 5.5-point spread Wednesday night, it was a great scenario. After all, the last thing you wanted was overtime.

At least it was a great scenario. Suddenly, Duquesne head coach Keith Dambrot’s meds wore off, and he turned into a Walmart shopper on Black Friday after finding out the last $49 television was taken off the shelf.

That little shimmy drew not one but two technical fouls, meaning the Nittany Lions would have six free throws coming up. Rasir Bolton, shooting 89 percent at the free throw line this year, nailed the first four and put Penn State up four points. Stevens then hit his two freebies, and all of a sudden that Duquesne +5 ticket in your hand that had looked so good for 39 minutes and 54 seconds was suddenly the equivalent to holding a three-pound pile of poodle shit in your palm.

Oh, and if you had the under in Wednesday night’s game, yeah, Dick Sandwich City as well, as all of those free throws took the point total from 134 to 140, and since the thugs in Vegas set the over/under at 138, you too finished this night as a giant fucking loser.

Once again, kids, never bet with the public. There’s a reason why the sharps in Vegas are plowing choice puss on a nightly basis while you’re working in the Piggly Wiggly deli on the weekends to help pay for your shitty three-bedroom house in West Allis…

Wait, there’s more: I’m Finally Coming To Grips With How Awful Week 15 Was For Fantasy Football Nerds

You have got to see this shit:

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