Why Not Continue To Make Bookie Your Bitch With These College Football And NFL Bets, Bro?


by Rakesh the Intern

Nothing wrong with hitting on 57 percent of our bets on this silly game of American football, bro.

Winnings and hooker ordering to celebrate have been abundant this year thanks to Rakesh being hotter than poop or whatever you call it in this country, bro. Here’s how we’re going to stay hot this weekend, bro:


Kansas State at TCU (-9.5)

Listen, bro. This one smell fishier than ex-girlfriend Akansh’s poon, and that bitch was biggest slut in Howrah, bro. Even Cousin Gokul and his baby arm got a piece of that poon. Sick shit, bro. It’s almost like her legs are open 24 hour a day, just like this Waffle House place in your country, bro. Any crap, my friend, this TCU team has lost three straight game, including one against shit from pig Kansas Jayhawks team last week. So why would they be 9.5-point favorites in this one, bro? Well, the fix is likely in, my friend. Load up with fat Rupee – like Uncle Rishabh fat – on TCU. Dude is like 400-pounder now, bro…

Stanford at Washington (-9.5)

Look, bro. File this one under stinky salmon poon of Akansh as well, bro. I mean, this Washington team has done nothing to earn almost double digit spread against Stanford team that is not that pig shit awful. Usually when you see something like this, thugs in Vegas have their paws of grease or whatever you call it in this country all over the game. If Washington is 10-point favorite, then odds are they win this one by hundred points, bro…

Cal (+8) at Washington State

Check it out, bro. This Washington State team has covered spread in all eight games this year. Sooner or later, the opposite is going to happen, bro. It remind me of Cousin Anagi in college. She would let something like 13 guys put penis inside of her at the same time. And she would keep doing this like nothing bad was ever going to happen. Well, I’ll tell you what, bro. A little while later, her poon broke. Sad shit, bro. Load and lock up on this Cal team, bro…


New York Jets at Miami (-3)

Let me tell you something, bro. There is one thing that Uncle Omkar told me before he was thrown in Howrah prison for fixing local cricket match, and that was to always bet against stupid American public. Case in point in this Dolphin game, where 66 percent of bettors are taking Jets to cover and another 83 percent are currently taking this shit from pig Jets team to win. If you side with public in this one, you will be crazier than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking a goat at family reunion. Sick shit, bro. Load up on Dolphin in this one…

Detroit at Minnesota OVER 48.5 Points

Look, bro. I understand that Detroit told Golden Tate to take fucking hike this week, but let’s be honest, bro. They don’t need his overrated bitch ass to score point this year. Look for other receivers to step up as well as tight end, and don’t forget that this Vikings team will make shit from pig Lions defense their bitch. Over should hit by third quarter according to my calculations, bro…

LA Rams at New Orleans OVER 57 Points

Check it out, bro. Last week, these two teams killed stupid American public after 86 percent of them bet on over in each game. Thugs in Vegas made sure under hit in both game, and they no doubt were able to order dozen hookers with winnings that night, bro. Well, bettors are still butthurt by what took place, and half of them are taking under in this one. Watch both teams score on defense like any guy in Howrah on ex-girlfriend Akansh: often. Another over here that should hit by third quarter, bro…

2018 so far, bro: 24-18

Last week: 4-2

NCAA: 12-9

NFL: 12-9

Wait, there’s more, bro: This Guy Somehow Owns The Raiders And Is Plowing That Girl

You have got to see this shit, bro:


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