The 5 Greatest Things We Saw From Week 10 Of The NFL

bills mafia table smash

by Tommy Gimler

The historically pig shit awful year of the kicker continues.

One of the biggest takeaways from this year’s NFL campaign is that no kicker in this league should be paid more than 12 bucks for their efforts. Hell, even the game’s best kicker, Justin Tucker, has missed an extra point this year that pretty much lost the game for the Baltimore Ravens. Chicago’s Cody Parkey is a way bigger sack of fuck than Tucker, and how he’s still in the league is beyond us, but our best guess is that he cradles the balls like nobody’s business while giving NFL GMs a knob job.

Here’s Parkey still pocketing thousands of dollars yesterday despite hitting the upright four different times along with four other amazing clips from Sunday’s action.

5. Cody Parkey is a real bag of shit, misses four kicks on Sunday that all hit the upright.

The saving grace for Parkey is that his team still won (and covered – oh fuck yeah) thanks to the fact that the Lions were in town…

4. Amari Cooper makes an Eagles defensive back tear his ACL without even touching him.  

Even sadder than Ronald Darby fucking up the rest of his season on a non-contact play? You guessed it – Dak Prescott somehow missed that Cooper was wide open on the play for what would’ve been a sure thing tuddy…

3. Total Pro Sports made a video of Tony Romo calling his own shitdick throws.

It would be cool if they could do the same thing with Jason Witten, but unfortunately, Witten is straight up terrible at the announcing game. Hell, Awful Announcing might just want to think about changing the name of their site to Jason Witten Talking…

2. Bills Mafia member belly flops through a Costco folding table.

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I mean, it’s not quite a deuce or deuce and a half getting plowed on the hood of Toyota Corolla, but it still serves as a reminder that no fans in the NFL are more dedicated to their craft than the Bills Mafia…

1. The GOAT, Tom Brady, catches a ball, trips over the air and then falls flat on his face short of the first down.  

I can’t really be too hard on Tommy, as if that would have been me out there, you would have seen the added highlight of me pissing myself just before getting smoked by a 250-pound linebacker. Plus, since the Patriots wound up losing to Tennessee on Sunday, you know Giselle pulled out the top shelf lingerie to get her man back on the right track…

Wait, there’s more: Should You Lose Your Job As A Las Vegas Sportscaster If You’re Caught Masturbating At A Slot Machine At 9:15 In The Morning?

You have got to see this shit:

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