Probably Easiest Week To Make Bookie Your Bitch With These NFL Week 11 And College Football Bets, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Check it out, bro.

Week before Thanksgiving is historically easy week to pick these games of silly American football, and Rakesh thinks it because so many regular bettors are busy getting fat wife and kids ready for week of holiday travel and not fucking up point spreads with their shitty picks. Thanksgiving is a nice holiday for this already fat country. It’s like hey, bro. Let’s get even fatter. Sick shit, bro.

And speaking of fatter, let’s continue to make pockets fat with Rupee thanks to Rakesh hitting at 56 percent this year. Here is what I am thinking for this weekend, bro.

NCAA

Syracuse at Notre Dame (-10)

Listen, bro. If there is one think Uncle Omkar told me before he was sent to Howrah prison for fixing local cricket match, it was that you should never trust betting public. In this case, public saw hook on that 10 points and said, “Oh, I’ll do safe thing and just take this Orange team to cover.” Now spread is just 10. Well, my friend, Notre Dame quarterback is back under center, and let’s just say this Irish team will score more often this Syracuse defense than entire town of Howrah on my ex-girlfriend Akansh. She was biggest slut in Howrah. Sick shit, bro…

Iowa at Illinois UNDER 60 Points

Seriously, bro. Can you believe that over has hit in four straight Illinois games? I mean, this Lovie Smith coach is supposed to be defense guy, right? Fuck me, bro. Sooner or later, the under is going to hit in Illinois game, and I think this is the week with Iowa defense coming to town. Opposite is bound to happen. It’s just like Cousin Anagi in college. She would let something like 13 guys inside her at one time, and she would keep doing this as though nothing bad was ever going to happen. Well, a little while later, her poon broke. Sad shit, bro.

Doctor went ahead and stitched Anagi up, but he warned her that sex with black or Armenian guy and their massive cock is not recommended. Stick to just the Asians, doctor say. Also not recommended is taking over again, bro…

Connecticut at East Carolina OVER 72 Points

I’m telling you, bro. Usually when thugs in Vegas see two shit from pig football teams and they put point total in seventies, it means that somewhere around 200 point is going to be scored. Taking under in this one would make you crazier that Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking a goat at family reunion. Load and lock up on the over, bro…

NFL

Philadelphia (+7.5) at New Orleans

Look, bro. This New Orleans teams has been getting dick sucked by media as if they are entire town of Howrah and media is that slut Akansh. Sooner or later, a hungry team will come in with back against wall and pull off the impossible. That is this week, bro, as if Philly loses game, their season is pretty much over. Watch for this Prince Harry at quarterback to throw minimum four touchdowns in improbable win for Eagles. To be safe, though, take the points, bro…

Tennessee at Indianapolis (-1)

Check it out, bro. This is what in known in this silly game of American football as letdown game for Titans. They blew cum load against Patriots last week, and now stupid American public is riding them like passed out chick at East Coast frat house. Public has already bet this down from -3 to -1, and it could be pick ‘em by game time. Load and lock up on Colts and then order hooker early because this one hits for sure, bro…

Houston at Washington (+3)

Seriously, bro. There is nothing to like about this Redskins team, except for fact that they are three-point underdog at home. Take Skins and the points, and then watch another game. Even Redskin fans refuse to show up and watch this team that is boring as shit. Many of them would rather stay home and fuck sister, according to my sources. Well, don’t hump sister, but take the Skins to cover, bro…

2018 so far, bro: 31-24

This week already: 1-0

Last week: 3-3

NCAA: 15-13

NFL: 16-11

Wait, there’s more, bro: Just A Friendly Reminder To Never Watch The Jets And Then Get Behind The Wheel Of A Car

You have got to see this shit, bro:

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