Sometimes You Dunk On Somebody And He Knocks You Out With A Sucker Punch From Hell

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by Tommy Gimler

Geez, it’s only a game, Focker.

Odds are you missed the Austrian basketball game earlier this week featuring the Kapfenberg Bulls and…hold on a minute…Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it. You don’t need to know who the other team was, only that one of their white boys Erwin Zulic has some serious fucking hops and threw down a monster jam over former Long Beach State player David Samuels.

To say Samuels didn’t care for that moment would be a bigger understatement than me saying that I would like to hold Kate Upton’s hand, as everybody knows I would eat pear soup out of her balloon knot, and I hate pears. Watch as Samuels waits for Zulic to turn around before he delivers a sucker punch from hell.

Unlike Nam, there are rules when you play for the Kapfenberg Bulls, and apparently one of them is that you can’t sucker punch an opponent. Samuels was immediately kicked off the team and put on a flight headed for the States. Because of his shitdickery overseas, odds are I now have a better shot at eating pear soup out of Upton’s asshole than he does at ever playing in the NBA…

Wait, there’s more: Trail Blazers Forward Moe Harkless Came To The Arena Dressed As Tyrone Biggums

You have got to see this shit:

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