Making Bookie Your Bitch Starts With Stanford-Oregon Game Tonight, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Time to put bookie out of business, my friend.

Well, bro. Good start to the Rupee gambling two weeks ago when I go 4-2. I was too busy with hooker last week to make picks, but this week, it is time to make more money for hooker next week. Here is what I see happening this weekend in the silly game of American football, bro.

NCAA

Mississippi State (-10) at Kentucky

Let me tell you something, bro. This Mississippi State team is for real, just like the syphilis my ex-girlfriend Aksansh gave me. She was biggest slut in Howrah. Sick shit, bro. Anyway, I went and saw doctor two year later in Toledo and he finally cure that shit for Rakesh for only 63 dollar. You know what is not real, bro? This Kentucky team. This is not game of hoops, bro. Load and lock up on this Bulldogs team, my friend…

Stanford at Oregon OVER 59 Points

Look, bro. This Stanford team has seen under hit in all three games so far this year. Sooner or later, exact opposite will happen, bro. It’s like slut Cousin Anagi in college, bro. She would let something like 13 guys in her at one time, and she would keep doing this on nightly basis as if nothing bad was going to happen. Well, I’ll tell you what, bro. A little while later, her poon broke. Sad shit, bro. Load up on over in this one…

Florida at Tennessee OVER 45.5 Points

Listen, bro. Something smell fishier in this one than Akansh’s poon, and we have already established she was slut of century. Even Cousin Gokul with his baby left arm hit that shit. Normally, girlies don’t like Gokul’s little arm, but it no matter for slut Akansh. Anyway, with these two teams taking field, point total should be no more that 12 points. Shit from pig offense on both sides, bro. So when I see total that is almost four times that, I say jump on over like fly on turd, bro…

NFL

Tennessee (+10) at Jacksonville

Check it out, bro. When 70 percent of silly American public load up on something, thugs in Vegas usually take note and fix game. That is what I see happening in this one. Tennessee should not even be able to score point against this Jacksonville defense, yet Jaguars are only favored by 10 point. Don’t drink Kool-Aid and bet your thousand Rupee on wrong team. Take underdog Titans and watch refs make shit call after shit call all game long, bro…

Dallas at Seattle OVER 41 Points

Believe it or not, bro, Dallas might put up 41 in this one. Gone are days of Seahawk defense making opposing teams their bitch. Hell, bro. One guy on Seahawks defense only has one hand. Probably Cousin Gokul’s favorite player for obvious reason, bro. Take the over and get ready to buy hooker with winnings, my friend…

Denver at Baltimore (-5.5)

So let me get this straight, bro. Ravens defense makes Andy Dalton and Bengals offense look more potent than Cousin Deepak last Thursday, and Deepak now has something like 18 kids and he’s just 29 years old. I mean, wrap it the fuck up, bro, or even try anus next time. Anyway, bro, Ravens shouldn’t even be favored in this one, so when I see 5.5 points, I assume fix is in and put my Rupee on the Ravens. Good luck, bro… 

So far in 2018, bro: 4-2

NCAA: 3-0

NFL: 1-2

Wait, there’s more: The Browns Finally Won So We Did A Podcast That Somehow Ended With Me Describing The Birthing Process

You have got to see this shit:

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