It’s Good To Be Jimmy Garoppolo These Days


by Tommy Gimler

Oh, look at the fun bags on that hose hound.

The guys at say San Francisco 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo is zero percent gay, and based on the young “lady” he was out with last night in Beverly Hills, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate statement.

TMZ captured the 26-year-old QB at Avra in Beverly Hills with the 41-year-old star of My Step-Mom Has Huge TitsDirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 8Sharing My Roommate’s CockCouples Bang The Babysitter 8Handjobs & Handcuffs 2My Mom Tossed My Salad 10 and of course, the 2014 mega-hit Manuel Opens Their Asses. The two were seen smiling the entire night, seemingly because Garoppolo knew he was out with a sure thing while Kiara Mia was likely thrilled to get wrecked by an NFL quarterback instead of a guy who shows up to the Van Nuys set in an El Camino that also doubles as his house.

Here’s the footage from TMZ:

Nice fucking question, bro. I could think of two things (or three if you include her fabulous poop chute) that Jimmy G would have actually stopped and given you an answer on, but instead you pick that moment to ask him whether or not LeBron James would be a good NFL owner. If you’re looking for a reason why he’s working for TMZ and not The Wall Street Journal, that should suffice. Although, thinking about the answer to that maybe helped Jimmy G last a little longer in the sack last night.

In a related story, you can also catch Kiara Mia as the “aggressive retail dyke” in what we’re sure was a fabulous episode of Hot and Mean in 2010…

Wait, there’s more: Here Are 10 Things To Help Get You Through The Worst Sports Day Of The Year

You have got to see this shit:

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