Here’s The Pirates Bullpen Coach Spraying Something On A Reliever’s Arm

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by Frank Rhombus

Rules are for suckers.

Ask the majority of Major League Baseball hitters, and they’ll tell you that they have no problem with a pitcher doing whatever it takes to get a good grip on the baseball. Even if it means dipping their hands into a vat of Bud Selig’s semen, as long as their 99-mph fastball paints the outside corner instead of drilling them in the dome, they’re cool with it. It’s why Boston’s Craig Kimbrel gets away with wearing a hat that has six pounds worth of pine tar caked to its brim.

But as Cleveland’s Trevor Bauer and ESPN’s Buster Olney pointed out earlier this year, using something like pine tar can also create quite the advantage. After all, let’s be honest here. If it didn’t, players wouldn’t do it. You think it’s all in the name of hitters’ safety? Child, please.

Olney’s article is one of the few times the four-letter has posted something that would be classified as a “must-read” this year. In it, he also discusses how pitchers are using a combination of sunscreen (especially the Bullfrog brand) and rosin or resin to improve their grip and command without increasing the risk of blisters that is usually associated with using pine tar.

And that brings us to last night’s curb stomping of the Pittsburgh Pirates courtesy of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Down 12-1, Pittsburgh’s Steven Brault began warming up in the bullpen. Call it a hunch, but our guess is that MLB didn’t want the Time Warner Cable SportsNet LA cameras to cut to the bullpen cam to capture the moment a Pirates coach sprayed something (presumably sunscreen) onto Brault’s forearm before Brault caked it with rosin.

But that’s exactly what happened. 

Breaking the rules didn’t do shit for Brault on this night, as the Dodgers’ bats made mince stew out of whatever he was throwing their way. In just two innings of work, Brault was pounded for four runs on five hits and a walk and watched his ERA jump to 4.85 on the season. Our advice? You guessed it – maybe give the pine tar a shot, son.

So that’s good news for MLB. I mean, a dude used a foreign substance to gain an advantage and took a severe ass pounding anyway. Also good news is the fact that half of Los Angeles still can’t watch the Dodgers on television because of the TWC SportsNet LA deal, so that means hardly anybody saw it…

Wait, there’s more: It’s The Great American Holiday Known As Bobby Bonilla Day

You have got to see this shit:

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