Carlos Gomez Pitches Just Like He Hits: Terribly

carlos gomez sucks

by Tommy Gimler

It could be much worse for Brewers fans than adding Mike Moustakas to the squad in exchange for a five-tool future stud. I mean, this clown could still be on your team.

The Tampa Bay Rays have left many sports bettors mentally fucked this season. At 53-52, the Rays have already won 52 more games than we had them pegged for the entire season. Up and down their roster, you’ll find has-beens, a group of “never was” guys and at least 12 or 13 pure shitdicks. So you really have to hand it to manager Kevin Cash and his decision to start relief pitchers the majority of the time and pretty much do whatever it takes to finish the night with a W.

And speaking of mentally fucked, there’s Carlos Gomez. Gifted with every physical attribute to succeed in the sport of baseball with the exception of a fully-functioning brain, Gomez found himself on the Rays this season because they were the only team outside of the California Penal League who was willing to put up with his shit. In return for the Rays taking a chance on him, Gomez has given Tampa Bay and their fans a big ol’ juicy shitburger to eat. I mean, look at this pathetic stat line:

.217 average, .302 OBP, 8 home runs, 7 stolen bases and 84,000 strikeouts, the majority of them coming after swinging as hard as he can at a 1-2 pitch seven feet outside of the strike zone.

But just when you thought there was no way Gomez could be any worse on a baseball diamond, he walked up to Cash and said, “Hold my beer.” That’s right, kids. Carlos Gomez was allowed to pitch Friday night while he and his Rays teammates were getting curb stomped by the pig shit awful Orioles.

Grab your popcorn and watch this disaster:

Hahahaha. Epic.

God bless Carlos Gomez. Every time you look in the mirror and feel disgusted with yourself, just remember that it could always be worse. You could be him…

Wait, there’s more: SportsCenter Anchor Nicole Briscoe Dropped An F-Bomb On Live TV Today

You have got to see this shit:

What do you think? Leave a comment or subscribe to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Image Description