This Winner Broke Into A Royals Pitcher’s House And Claimed She Was Engaged To Elon Musk


by Frank Rhombus

If that is indeed the case, it’s safe to say that Elon Musk is slumming.

The last time we heard from Danny Duffy, he was busy getting a DUI in a Burger King drive-thru. Turns out these days, he’s watching batshit crazy broads break into his house while he and his Royals teammates are getting curb stomped in Houston.

From KCTV5 News:

Documents state that Duffy was away and got a notification from a Ring surveillance system. Duffy watched the video feed as an unknown woman walked around inside his home.

When police arrived, they found the woman walking down the stairs in Duffy’s clothing. The woman told police she thought his home was an Airbnb. Records also state she later told police her fiance was Elon Musk, but “it was not the same Elon Musk that we have seen.”

Police discovered a Playstation 4 controller inside the woman’s purse.

Perhaps the most fucked up part of the story is that the KCTV5 reporter referred to Danny Duffy as a Royals “star.” Last time we checked, star players weren’t sporting records of 4-7 with an ERA that makes James Shields look like a fucking bargain at $21 million a year. The second-most fucked up part? You guessed it – the fact that Elon Musk is into chicks who dress like Major League ballplayers.

The KCTV5 News report also said the woman, 27-year-old Tabytha Yeary, left every single bedroom in disarray because she thought she was in an Airbnb property. Because, you know, that’s plausible. For her sake, let’s hope Yeary was all fucked up on some kind of meth, laundry detergent and battery acid combo. I mean, if she did this while she was sober, then it’s really embarrassing…

Wait, there’s more: Mickey Mantle’s Outstanding Moment At Yankee Stadium Was A Getting A Knob Job Under The Bleachers

You have got to see this shit:

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