Reading The Story Of Archie Bradley Crapping His Pants During A Game Is Worth Your Time

archie bradley

by Tommy Gimler

If Imodium A-D’s marketing crew doesn’t jump at this opportunity, they’re really dropping the ball, which quite frankly would still be better than dropping a deuce in your trousers.

Arizona’s Archie Bradley has quickly become one of our favorite guys to root for. I mean, the beard. The personality. The fact that he’s shit-your-pants awesome.

Literally.

Appearing on this week’s Yahoo! Sports MLB Podcast with Tim Brown, Bradley began talking about his former roommate Adrian Houser barfing behind the pitcher’s mound earlier this month but then dumped an even saucier story on-air. That story? You guessed it – Bradley pooped his pants right before being summoned to the mound by manager Torey Lovullo earlier this year.

From Yahoo! Sports:

“I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Bradley said to Yahoo Sports.

“So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually shit my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning, and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just shit myself.’ They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like ‘Oh my God, you had to see this.’”

Look, we’ve all blown mud in our boxer briefs before, but most of us don’t have to go out there and lock down the eighth inning in front of 25,000 people with it still sitting in there. Truly an epic story from Bradley, one that ranks second only to George Brett’s “shit my pants last night” anecdote.

Will that story move him into the top ten on the list of guys who can plow my sister? Eh, not quite. But you have to love a dude who is so comfortable with himself and where he’s at in life that he can go on-air and tell the masses how he once took the Browns to the Super Bowl in own drawers.

In fact, let’s just say it was a good enough story and funny enough moment to put him at #11 on the list as long as he showers first…

Wait, there’s more: LiAngelo Ball Missing Almost All Of His Shots At A Pre-Draft Workout Is A Great Start To The Week

You have got to see this shit:

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