Behold The Greatest Arrest Video The World Has Ever Known

spruce grove arrest

by Tommy Gimler

We’ve never been to Spruce Grove, but it appears to be the closest thing Canada has to Florida.

Look, gang. I’m going to be honest. I don’t care if you’re mid-coitus right now. Actually, I take that back. If you’re in the middle of a plow sesh and you’re checking your phone for the latest DUD post, I mean, thanks. Your dedication is unmatched and much appreciated.

Seriously, even if you thought you were just going to be here for 45 seconds to see a baseball player shit his pants at second base before going back into the party, you need to stop and give yourself another three minutes to watch the greatest arrest video any of us have ever seen. This gem comes to us from our friends north of the border, where it appears as though they have their fair share of fucktards running around getting all hopped up on vodka-laced tampons and Sudafed as well.

Ho. Lee. Shit.

I once heard a story about a cat who walked down the basement stairs as the family pet but walked up 20 minutes later as a possessed fuckhead, and the thing was so hopped up on some kind of antifreeze-Red Bull-battery acid combo that it wouldn’t die even after cops called to the scene put a dozen bullets into it. Any crap, I’m pretty sure this dude was on the same kind of shit. I mean, it seemed for a second that nothing was going to take this hillbilly down on this day.

Also, two more things. If the judge needs evidence that this guy was either off his meds or at the climax of his breakfast of bath salts, the fact that he reached for a bag of fruit chews or pig ears or whatever they’re snacking on in Spruce Grove to use as a weapon against the officer instead of a two liter bottle of Pepsi Max should do the trick.

And two, the good news for the young “lady” in this clip is that the unfinished Flaming Dragon tattoo on her left leg is no longer the worst decision of her life…

Wait, there’s more: This Winner Broke Into A Royals Pitcher’s House And Claimed She Was Engaged To Elon Musk

You have got to see this shit:

lenny dykstra tweet

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