You Might Need A Fresh Set Of Drawers After Seeing This Bryce Harper Home Run

bryce harper home run

by Tommy Gimler

Ho. Lee. Shit.

The average baseball fan might not even realize that Zack Godley is a professional baseball player, but the truth of the matter is that he’s been rather dominant when taking the mound at Chase Field for the Arizona Diamondbacks this year.

Well, at least he was.

Mark Reynolds – yes, that Mark Reynolds – hit two bombs for the Nationals in yesterday’s 6-4 victory over his former team, but it was the massive soul-crushing shot off the bat of Bryce Harper in the third inning off of Godley that might make you pee a little bit. Watch this thing leave the yard:

Jesus tittyfucking.

They say the exit velocity of Harper’s 13th home run of the year was 115.1 MPH, but either the nerd running Statcast can’t count any higher than that or the device they use to measure that shit tops out there. Our best guess is that it left the yard at somewhere between 140 and 7,300 MPH.

In a related story, the Arizona Diamondbacks finally lost their first series of the season, dropping all four games at home to the Nationals. Still, they have an 8-game lead on the Dodgers in the NL West, a cushion that’s almost as big as Jack Nicholson’s gunt these days…

Wait, there’s more: Just Some Redneck Turds In Georgia Fighting Over The Score Of A Charity Cornhole Game

You have got to see this shit:

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