This Whole Brad Marchand Licking Opponents Thing Can Stop Already

brad marchand is a bag of shit

by Frank Rhombus

Grow up, you cocksmoker.

Somebody needs to remind Bruins left winger Brad Marchand that he’s neither in France nor on the soccer pitch. This is the NHL, where you don’t go around licking other dudes:

What. The. Fuck.

Perhaps nobody summed up Marchand’s shitdickery better than Lightning head coach Jon Cooper, who was pretty pissed about having to talk about some clown skating around the ice licking other players at the professional level.

“There is absolutely no place in our game for that,” Cooper said. “I don’t get it, I don’t understand it.”

Normally we would say that somebody needs to jam their stick up Marchand’s ass, but something tells us it wouldn’t work the way we’d want it to this time around. Seriously, somebody in the Bruins locker room needs to get in Marchand’s ear about this and tell him to knock it the fuck off before an opponent pulls a Happy Gilmore, takes off his skate and tries to stab him with it…  

Wait, there’s more: Do These Eyes Belong To A New Jersey Superintendent Who Was Allegedly Pooping On A High School Track And Football Field?

You have got to see this shit:  

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