Richie Incognito Has Officially Lost It, Thinks Government Is Tracking And Recording Him

richie incognito nuts

by Tommy Gimler

Ironically, Richie Incognito hasn’t been very incognito lately. Or ever, really.

Just a few days ago, the Buffalo Bills made it known that if Incognito was in fact going to end his brief retirement, he wasn’t going to be lining up for Buffalo on Sundays this year. And now thanks to an insane tirade at a Florida gym, he might not be lining up for anybody other than doctors or mental health experts.

In what can only be described as a bizarre incident early Wednesday morning, Boca Raton police responded to a “situation” at the Lifetime Fitness Center on Yamato Road. That situation? You guessed it – Richie Incognito allegedly throwing tennis balls and weights at other Lifetime Fitness staff members and guests. Oh, and then the whole I’m doing “Shroom Tech” and the government is watching and listening to me thing.

The entire police report below is a must-read, but in case you’re almost done with your poop, here are the highlights:

1) The gym patron who called 911 told police that a shirtless Incognito threw a tennis ball at him, and that was followed by Incognito throwing a weight at him and a dumbbell in the pool. He then “skimmed the back of his leg with a weight sled.” Incognito also yelled “Get out of my fucking playground!”

2) A Lifetime Fitness staff member also said that Incognito hit him a tennis ball and then handed him his concealed weapons permit for some reason. That’s usually not a good sign.

3) Incognito told a responding officer that he can’t have any gym patrons with headphones or bluetooth technology around him because he’s “running NSA class level 3 documents” through his phone. The officer asked Incognito why he thought the government was watching him, but Incognito told the officer that he couldn’t tell him because he didn’t have a “high enough clearance.”

4) Incognito said he was taking a supplement called “Shroom Tech,” and his hands were “shaking heavily.”

5) When informed that he was being a danger to others, Incognito asked a nearby woman to contact the FBI.

6) Incognito thought that ordinary people at the gym were actually government officials spying on him.

7) Officers needed two sets of handcuffs to walk him out of the building before driving him to the nut house.

Well then. It sure sounds to us like “Shroom Tech” could be a code name for steroids, although I’ve never known anybody on roids claiming that it made them paranoid of government surveillance.

In all honesty and sincerity, let’s hope this dude gets some fucking help. A lot of it, actually. Even with the proper treatment, odds are Incognito will never play in the NFL again. I mean, can you imagine if a team put this guy on their roster before signing Kaepernick? Stephen A. Smith would have a goddamn heart attack…

Wait, there’s more: Lenny Dykstra Continues His Legal Problems Hot Streak, Gets Arrested After Allegedly Pulling Gun On Uber Driver

You have got to see this shit:  

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