Akbar Gbaja-Biamila Probably Threw The Worst First Pitch Ever At The Phillies-Giants Game

Akbar Gbaja-Biamila first pitch

by Frank Rhombus

Still better than anybody pitching for the Reds, though.

I turned 48 earlier this year, and if this progressively bigger, grayer mane of pubic hair wasn’t enough of a reminder of that, the fact that when Gimler sent me this clip of Akbar Gbaja-Biamila basically throwing his first pitch at Thursday’s Giants-Phillies into the ground instead of the Phillie Phanatic’s glove, I had to look up who in the hell that guy was sure did the fucking trick.

So yeah, here’s that guy throwing out what is by far the worst first pitch of the year:

50 Cent did what? Hold my beer.

I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed about not knowing who Akbar Gbaja-Biamila was beforehand. I mean, it’s not like they’re talking about American Ninja Warrior every morning at the water cooler. Anyway, the whole point of the post is not about me not knowing who he was. It’s just simply that the pitch he threw on Thursday was far more embarrassing than the fact we’re waiting until Sunday to run the story…

Wait, there’s more: Just Some Redneck Turds In Georgia Fighting Over The Score Of A Charity Cornhole Game

You have got to see this shit:

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