Josh Hader Just Became The First Reliever To Strike Out 8 Batters In 2 2/3 Innings, Can Plow My Sister

josh hader 8 strikeouts

by Tommy Gimler

It’s hard to believe Jhoulys Chacin makes $8.2 million more than Josh Hader.

It wasn’t Chacin who made the Cincinnati Reds his bitch Monday night. In fact, Chacin was pig shit awful, giving up four earned runs on five hits and three walks in just 4 1/3 innings of work. In all, Chacin faced 20 hitters and only struck out one of them before asking the Crew’s bullpen to clean up his fucking mess.

One those studs in the bullpen was Josh Hader. His line was just a tad more impressive than Chacin’s, as Hader faced nine batters and struck out eight of them. If that didn’t make it move a little bit, then this little bit of info should do the trick.

Absolutely titillating.

“The heater was definitely there,” the stud lefty said after the game.

Yeah, no shit. Check it out for yourself:

After a record-breaking performance like that, we have no choice but to throw him on the list of the top ten guys who can plow my sister. Either one. Of course, after becoming the first player this year to hit the 10-HR plateau, Mike Trout remains at the top of the list, but thanks to Clayton Kershaw throwing nothing but bags of dicks from the pitcher’s mound this year, the rest of the list has seen more changes than Pam Anderson’s tits.

Top Ten Guys Who Can Plow My Sister – May 2018

1. Mike Trout

2. LeBron James

3. Rickie Fowler

4. Jason Kelce

5. Giannis Antetokounmpo

6. Clayton Kershaw

7. Aaron Rodgers

8. Josh Hader

9. John Daly

10. Nick Foles (but he has to stop immediately if she gets “too wrecked”)

Congrats to Hader on his big accomplishment. Hopefully for the Brew Crew faithful, it’s the start of something really nice, Clark…

Wait, there’s more: Just A Dog Humping The Shit Out Of Two Drunk Guys Fighting In The Street

You have got to see this shit:  

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